This is a real ad from the UK Government.

Should be entitled "We Crush Your Dreams".
Minus a billion for empathy. But top marks for honesty, at least. Because it conveys in a superbly succinct way the utter contempt the UK Government has for anyone it sees as supernumerary. Their disinterest could not be clearer.
"You used to be a Turner prize-winning artist? Have no fear. Drains will always need cleaning."
Just in case you thought it was fake, here's official confirmation.

Notice the weasel "partner campaign" wriggling. The official HM Government branding shows that it was signed off by someone official.
Circling back to the ad, what really kills it is the "rethink". How dare you even *consider* making a career out of something uplifting! You *will* be a grey worker bee in the collective hive.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Edwin Hayward 🦄 🗡

Edwin Hayward 🦄 🗡 Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @uk_domain_names

13 Oct
Keir Starmer (at 5pm press conference): "When it comes to [the coronavirus] 3 things are clear...
1. The Government does not have a clear plan
2. It has lost control of the virus
3. It is no longer following the scientific advice"

He's not wrong, that's for sure!
Keir Starmer: "I am calling for a 2-3 week circuit break in England, in line with Sage's recommendation."
"Pubs, bars and restaurants would be closed for 2-3 weeks, but compensated so that no business loses out as a result of the sacrifice they're called upon to make."
Read 5 tweets
11 Oct
How did we go from the open, global joy of London 2012 to the dark misery of throwing nets over migrant boats to disable them in just 8 years?
I think, for all that Nick Clegg was pilloried six ways from Sunday over tuition fees, the wheels started to fall off when the Tories won enough votes to not need the Coalition any more. Suddenly, there was no restraining influence of any kind on their sordid megalomania.
If you doubt that, please remember that these things are always relative.

Don't compare the Coalition years to an impossible idyll. Instead, compare 2010-15 and 2015-20. Difference seems as clear as daylight.
Read 4 tweets
11 Oct
Prue Leith, avowed Brexit supporter, seems to only just have woken up to Brexit's potential to destroy the quality of UK food, and hurt British farmers.

And magically she's all hand-wringing and smelling salts.

Own. Your. Mess.

@PrueLeith
metro.co.uk/2018/03/14/pru…
That's this Prue Leith: "Prue Leith infuriates Great British Bake Off fans after revealing she voted for Brexit"
metro.co.uk/2018/03/09/pru…
That's this Prue Leith: "GBBO’s Prue Leith defends Brexit stance but insists she’s ‘not a raging Tory’"
metro.co.uk/2018/03/14/pru…
Read 7 tweets
10 Oct
Imagine if, in the old USSR, the KGB had had a single button that made history disappear...

You don't have to imagine it any more!

The UK Government's coronavirus dashboard is configured in such a way that each new day's data erases the previous day. (Can't download any more.)
So let's say for instance an Excel issue means they've scrambled to add over 15,000 missing coronavirus cases.

You can't download the old data series from before they slid the extra historical data in, to see what changed when.

Ditto when eg they change definition of "deaths".
This MUST be by design.

It would be the easiest thing in the world to assign new filenames on a daily basis, and keep older data available.

But no.
Read 4 tweets
10 Oct
For over 6 weeks now, COVID-19 cases across the UK have grown at approx. 7% a day. (It's not an exact fit, but it's close enough to indicate how the pandemic is progressing.)

That means the problem got twice as big every 9 days.

Yet Boris Johson STILL dithers and delays!
He's planning to talk to MPs on Monday.

At the current pace, that means 22% more cases than now.

Imagine taking the same approach to a forest fire, or a patient bleeding out? It's unconscionable!
Even small sustained improvements would make a big difference, if we start NOW.

At 7% growth a day, we would be closing in on 100,000 daily cases by the end of October.

But if we could slow growth to 6% a day through stricter measures, we'd be at HALF that.
Read 5 tweets
9 Oct
"Coronavirus: at least three-quarters of people in UK fail to self-isolate

People still going out even though they risk infecting others, advisers tell ministers"

Contact tracers miss bucketloads of people. Majority of those they reach don't cooperate! theguardian.com/world/2020/oct…
Problem is, if you're on a low wage you get £500 for 2 weeks to tide you over (less than minimum wage). Everyone else gets nothing at all.

So a lot of people who are warned they may have been in contact with someone infected have a huge incentive to shrug and ignore it.
I think the system needs to be split, and improved:

A) If you test positive, make the checking regime draconian, along with the punishment. You don't self-isolate? There WILL be consequences. But provide decent financial support.

B) Give everyone else a much better carrot.
Read 4 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!