Ed Carter Profile picture
16 Oct, 20 tweets, 24 min read
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling Only the *Farage* breath was strong enough to destroy a country.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling “And lo, as *Farage* (trademark), stood on the mountain, a demon tempted him and said, “Join with me and we will chuck you some gullible xenophobe’s pension cash and gift you all the Daily Express headlines you need. All you need to do is get explosive halitosis and brown teeth”
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling And *Farage* (trademark) looked upon the divided country and it was good.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling To this day the *Farage*(copyright) congregationalists throw their meagre savings at an effigy of their saviour on a daily basis in an attempt to curry favour with him.
Sadly *curry* was a word that would never gain favour with their hero.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling The landlocked desert of the *previously United Kingdom* continue to commemorate the “fishermen” a legendary clan, who dedicate their lives searching for *fish* to sell to each other because nobody else likes them.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling Every year, the poverty stricken peasants of the last feudal kingdom in the Universe gather around crudely carved images of, what used to be called, *immigrants* to hateshout. The statues reference a legendary time when people actually wanted to live under *Goveclone*’s regime.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling The last being to voluntarily move onto the poisonzone, or the *previously united kingdom* was eaten by a Cummings - a poisonous, parasitic reptile that preys on the stupid.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling Songs are still sung by the stunted, inbred, denizens of the blighted kingdom, of a time when air and water were free, but if asked about it they will explain that, that was obviously a myth, because that would destroy something called the economy, a benevolent being called Banks
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling If challenged they are aggressive and wrap themselves in a heraldic piece of fabric, now redundant, believing somehow that this will stop all arguments.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling Once a sequence at Darknight, brothersister parents burn a brown portpass to ensure that their brood hatches never leave their predator zones.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling A tail warmer is draped over an airhole and hatchlings pray for *goveclone* gifts of flem or excrement, knowing that that is proof that he is still thinking of them.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling If they’ve been bad they are told that a Vine will come for them. A bloated, poisonous beast that attacks their brood members and clan without recourse to truth or mercy the Vine is alleged to have bred with *clonegove* although even primitives doubt the logistics.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling Still, once a year the @tolethorpe epsilon’s gather to bloodily and painfully sacrifice brood mates and offer red tape towards *goveclone* and *Vine* hoping , fruitlessly, that *goveclone* and *Vine*’s good fortune may be shared with their future generations.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling Because, as the holy words say, “We* may need to make sacrifices but it will be worth it in the longrun**”
*We= you
** longrun = never
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling And when the poorest starve and they’re victimised for their poverty, the clans burn the foreigners’ offerings of trade as @hadenoughnow20 would have wanted.
The smell of burnt paupers is thought to give the clans *trumpewhiteskin* powers and guarantee a “universal credit”.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling Sadly, “universalcredit” has yet to save one starving child in three millennium.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling But every dead child was held up as proof that *47goveclone* was a benevolent God, for was it not said that t’would be terrible under chaos God Miliband!
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling “Our dead children were burned because they didn’t deserve to be Eton”. That’s what the congregation sang, knowing that they shouldn’t and couldn’t cross their betters.
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling But still, every night they locked their doors to protect themselves from predators
@AwayFromTheKeys @tolethorpe @hadenoughnow20 @heritageok @acgrayling But it’s always to no avail. The girlspawn are divided into *white* or *not* and disposed of accordingly.

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