Thread by @tiltmom

Fifteen years ago, I spent something like a thousand hours over the course of many months interviewing James Randi for a biography.

This is my second favorite Randi story. 1/

(The book never came to pass, though much of the research made into the film ‘An Honest Liar.’) 2/

And while Honest Liar did a beautiful job of illuminating Randi's many vocations, it left out one secret side gig. 3/

Back when I was working with Randi I was struggling with my own honest liar problem. My oldest son Max was 6, and I wanted to be one of those parents who told the truth. 4/

The only lies I’d told him at that point were “We’re out of batteries” and “McDonalds is closed on weeknights,” so the following conversation posed a dilemma: 5/

Max: Mom, when do you think I’ll lose a tooth? I want to meet the Tooth Fairy! She’s so cool!

Me: I’m not sure how I feel about someone coming into our house while we’re all sleeping. How does she do it anyway? Break a window?

Max: No. She uses her magic wand. 6/

Me: Huh. Neat. And where does she get the money?

Max: She uses her wand to make money. Her wand can do anything.

Me: Anything? Then why not just use her wand to make... teeth? Why spend all that time going around collecting them?

Max: Because her wand can't make teeth. 7/

Me: You just said it can do anything.

Max: Well... maybe it can't make teeth.

Me: Isn't it weird that she has this amazing magic wand that can make money and transport her anywhere, yet she chooses to spend all her time flying around paying kids for their teeth? 8/

Max: No.

Me: Max, do you think the Tooth Fairy is real?

Max: Yes. She gave Amanda money for her tooth. Plus, it's in the ‘Ready Freddy’ book.

Me: ‘Franny K Stein’ has a killer lunchmeat sandwich. Is that real?

Max: No.

Me: So why do you think the Tooth Fairy is real? 9/

Max: Because I want it to be.

Me: So if you lost a tooth, and you woke up and it was still under your pillow, you would be sad?

Max: I think so. 10/

Me: What if you woke up and found money under your pillow, but then found out Mommy and Daddy put it there?

Max: Why would you do that? That’s the Tooth Fairy’s job!
11/

Later, I describe this exchange to Randi, explain my dilemma, and ask for suggestions. I think what I’m really looking for is permission to lie to my kid about an invisible friend, and who better than Randi to get that from? 12/

Randi says, “Bring Max to @jref tomorrow, we’ll sort it out.” /13

The next day, Randi performs a magic trick for us using a one dollar bill. Max asks to see it again, and Randi obliges, but he makes it a point to explain that it’s a trick, and that Max shouldn’t trust people who say otherwise. /14

He then tells Max that if Max can beat him at chess, he’ll show him how it’s done. /15

Max wins the game and Randi kicks me out of the room. He reveals the secret, but tells Max he shouldn’t try performing it until he’s practiced it on his own a few hundred times. /16

He also insists that Max practice with this particular dollar bill, which Randi has stamped thusly: /17

The bill itself should be a secret, too, and Max is to keep it hidden in his room. Randi tells Max that while it’s not a magic bill -- magic isn’t real, remember? -- it is a *special* bill, one of a kind, and just for him. /18

Before we leave, Randi privately hands me ten one-dollar bills, all stamped ‘JAMES RANDI,’ like the one he gave Max. He says that every time Max loses a tooth, I should put one of the marked bills under his pillow. /19

The day finally comes, I do as I’m told, and Max races into our room the next morning excitedly waving his dollar. “The Tooth Fairy came! The Tooth Fairy came!” /20

He doesn’t say anything about the bill. I conclude that Randi’s lesson missed the mark, but that under the circumstances I’m okay with adding a third lie to my list, and forget about it until Max loses another tooth a few weeks later. /21

I repeat the ritual, and the following morning Max enters our room, more slowly this time, with a quizzical look on his face. /22

“Mom? I think James Randi is my tooth fairy.” /23

Rest in wonder, Randi.

Thank you for everything and then some. /end