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Nash Across the 8th Dimension Profile picture
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24 Oct, 6 tweets, 2 min read
Wait.

So, the Avengers game is failing, and to bring players back, Squenix offered ... Kate Bishop?

Really?

An arrow person?

Not, like, y'know ... She Hulk, or Photon, or even Tigra, but "I Can't Believe It's Not Hawkeye?"
And to cap that off ... they delayed her!

So they promise people something that's kind of "meh," and then they can't even provide the meh on time.

Bioware has been holding a "We're No Longer The Worst" party all weekend.
Look, you can stan Kate all you like, but at the end of the day she's an arrow person.

Arrow people are the silliest, yet somehow both Marvel AND DC have a dozen, each.

Meanwhile you got women who can shoot fucking microwaves just cooling their heels.
Oh no aliens with superpowers are invading I know I'll shoot an arrow tipped with a fucking boxing glove at them
It takes a lot of work to look silly in a world where a dude dressed up as a bat but "I shoot arrows for justice" covers the bill.
But she's still an arrow person!

"My First Hawkeye" is still a Hawkeye!

Even Hawkeye got tired of being Hawkeye and started using swords and kung-fu!

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More from @Nash076

Nash Across the 8th Dimension Profile picture
26 Oct
It was incredibly stupid.

I know a lot of people don't care about this, but I wanna summarize one of the least self-aware moments in Trek (and that's saying something).
Okay, two sides: Cardassians and the Federation.

Had a war. Very bloody. No real threat to the Federation's existence but the Cardassians didn't believe there was any such thing as "war crimes." Long time backstory throughout TNG.

Then came the indigenous peoples.
After the war there was a demilitarized zone, and this weird cold war where both sides were putting colonies right on the edge.

Then a new treaty came out and some Federation worlds with colonies on them were just given to the Cardassians.

Just, y'know. Just because.
Read 18 tweets
Nash Across the 8th Dimension Profile picture
24 Oct
Understand that generally every $1 needs to bring in a return of about $3 for a project to be considered successful.

The original $300 million budget brought in ~$700 million, and now they've spent even more on reshoots.

And they're betting on HBO Max to fill the gap.
HBO Max is $15 a month.

So they're going to need about ... 40 million people to sign up for HBO Max for the Snyder Cut to pay off.

Also HBO Max's international distribution is a mess right now, so those 40 million people will all need to be American.
Now, that's not an impossible number. Netflix has something like 200 million subscribers, right?

But you're expecting 40 million people to jump on for a director's cut of Justice League.

"I already saw Justice League."

Most people are not hardcore fans.
Read 5 tweets
Nash Across the 8th Dimension Profile picture
21 Oct
This one's a runner up for WTFIWWY this week.

You gotta admit, this is clever. It was easy to fool the automated checkout and this wasn't even his first time doing it.

Know what stopped him?

A REAL HUMAN BEING DOING ACTUAL WORK local21news.com/news/offbeat/s…
The automated systems have cameras that supposedly watch you scanning things. (Walmart's system is notoriously bad, check the article.)

But you can fool it if you have a bar code for another item.
wired.com/story/walmart-…
In theory, you could make this scam even more bulletproof:

1) Photocopy the Kool-Aid UPC bar code.
2) Print it onto labels.
3) Palm the labels and stick them on the items.
4) Pay $0.25 for an entire bedroom set.
Read 5 tweets
Nash Across the 8th Dimension Profile picture
20 Oct
I'm sorry, do you try to secretly masturbate during a work meeting? In proximity to your coworkers?

Did you do that before the pandemic?

Do you try to secretly masturbate during work meetings now?

Because I'm really sure not everyone is that tacky and thoughtless.
Like, everybody rubs one out, sure.

Not everybody rubs one out while in the middle of a group work setting, virtual or not.

Silly bastard didn't even go to the bathroom first.
Dude works at one of the biggest mastheads in our modern hellscape, post-Me Too, and you don't think some inappropriately planned onanism will get national attention?

Wait for the meeting to end then flip it up slap it rub it down all you want, but work time is work time.
Read 7 tweets
Nash Across the 8th Dimension Profile picture
19 Oct
If there was child porn on the hard drive (there wasn't) that belonged to Hunter Biden (which it didn't), then copying it and handing it off to another party would be INCREDIBLY FUCKING ILLEGAL.

In their rush to ratfuck the election they're making themselves into fantasy felons.
Speaking as an IT tech who has repaired computers for a living, here's what you do when you find child porn on a customer's drive:

1) You call the police.
2) You give them the drive.
3) You wait while they tear through your network looking for copies and asking you questions.
4) You do not make a copy.
5) You DO NOT make a copy.
6) Holy Christ what is wrong with you you DO NOT MAKE A COPY
7) STOP MAKING COPIES OH MY GOD ARE YOU INSANE
Read 7 tweets
Nash Across the 8th Dimension Profile picture
18 Oct
Why yes, I am a fan of the hit show Dogfuckers.

Now, I know what you're thinking: it's based on that wretched Dogfuckers book about fucking dogs. I hate that book. It's awful.

But the Dogfuckers TV show is great. They leave out a lot of the dogfucking and it speaks to me.
... of fucking course there was.
Right!

He doesn't fuck the dogs, he makes love to them.
Read 4 tweets

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