In last few years, we've started the necessary conversation about how the pastorate attracts those w/ narcissitic tendencies. But that's only part of the conversation.
IME, the pastorate also attracts (& crushes) those who struggle w/ codependency. It's an ideal place to serve & feel needed. But the balance can quickly tip to loss of self & lead to a unique kind of spiritual abuse.
Yes, narcissists stand in to pulpit, but they also sit on the deacon board, the budget committee, & the back row. And when a pastor is struggling w/ codependency, it creates perfect storm.
Church leaders must understand that the dynamics of spiritual abuse exist everywhere. It's not a matter of whether your congregation will face them, but when & how. Being able to identify & name them is essential to both the health of the community & the ones called to serve her.
All that to say, I'm *really* grateful for this article from @Ikefmiller. It identifies & names a piece of the puzzle that is often overlooked.
While church ministry is hard, it should not be toxic. We must learn to identity the difference. For the sake of the church, for the sake of pastors, for the sake of the gospel.
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How is it that Piper lands where he lands on Election 2020 when MacArthur, Mohler, Grudem, & Wilson don't? In other areas, especially gender debates, he partners w/ these guys & breaking w/ them now has taken folks by surprise.
(To be clear, this thread is nothing more than a fun mental puzzle, observations about conservative evangelicalism. Don't make it more than it is.)
I feel like people are forgetting that John Piper was the guy who told an entire generation of evangelicals to pursue lives opposed to the American Dream.
Opposing the guy who's promising it to evangelicals is pretty on brand for him, tbh.
Like, we do remember that he's come out against spending one's life playing golf & picking up seashells on the beach, right?
One of the unexpected benefits of pursuing greater emotional literacy & self-awareness is being able to recognize when your emotions are being manipulated.
The trouble w/ repressing or denying emotions as valid is that a person becomes emotionally illiterate. Emotions don't go away; you're just unable to recognize & interact with them.
I don't think it's a coincidence that traditions & leaders who invalidate emotions are also those most likely to be controlled & swept along by them.