OK funny story related to my previous thread. It starts not-so-funny though: I was thinking about when I used to hang around in bars (when I was "young", and when there was no pandemic). Men very often tried to buy me drinks. I almost always declined.
Partly this is because I have a very low alcohol tolerance and prefer to keep my mental faculties. Partly it's because I will not accept a drink unless I have watched it being poured, straight out of a bottle. Partly it's in order not to give the wrong idea.
They almost always continued to insist. I continued to decline. Unfortunately I saw many women give in after a few rounds of the guy insisting, so of course this contributes to them thinking we don't mean it.
Often, the guy would simply go to the bar and come back with two drinks and push one in front of me. I never *EVER* drank it, but I have female friends who would drink it "to be polite". This also contributes to the men thinking this method is worth attempting.
When I absolutely persisted in not drinking the drink the men would often get mad at me for wasting it. Yup.
Anyway the last time this happened I was at an unfamiliar bar because it was near a conference venue, and I was getting myself a whisky, and then suddenly a male voice behind me said "I'll have the same, and I'll get both of them."
The (female) bar person froze in HORROR. I spun around... and...
It turned out to be a friend/colleague from the conference. But I hadn't seen him for 15 years and didn't recognise his voice. Also the bar was noisy. Some explanation was necessary before the bar person was ok with all this!
And by the way I'm carefully not naming the friend in question in case you don't want to be named but feel free to name yourself i you think it's funny!! It was pretty hilarious :)

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More from @DrEugeniaCheng

26 Oct
I've been thinking about how this business of unsolicited advice is part of the same culture of consent (or lack of it) that results in widespread sexual harassment.
First, that we (often women) can ask people (often men) specifically not to do something and they still do it. Somehow they think that we don't mean it, or that they know better than us, or that we're going to love it anyway, despite ourselves.
Also, that when we say we don't want something they often feel they are owed an explanation of why we don't want it, and if they are unconvinced by our explanation then they can still do the thing we asked them not to do.
Read 14 tweets
25 Oct
Well that calculation got out of hand.

No advice, thanks. I'm just posting this pic for interest and a glimpse into what my research looks like.
It's sort of aggravating that I always have to specify "no advice". But some people (usually male) will always try to give me "advice" otherwise, and indeed they often still try even when I do say it. Even about my research!
Nobody could give me useful advice about my research from looking at this picture. Even for researchers in my field, I'd probably have to talk to them about it for at least an hour to get them to a place where they could offer any useful thoughts. Possibly longer.
Read 4 tweets
24 Oct
That fing where you sit working at your computer in the dark because the sun went down and the light switch is out of reach and you just filmed virtual class *and then* sanch backup audio because the main audio failed and also had to restart twice because the computer crashed...
...so there is *no way* you are getting off the sofa just to turn on the light and yes "sanch" is the past tense of "synch".
Also, while we're on the subject, "hat on" is the past tense of "hit on", and "quat" is the past of "quit".
Read 4 tweets
8 Jan 19
Some of my organising tips: 1. Leave everything exactly where you last used it. Chances are that's where you'll next use it. Much more efficient than putting it away and getting it out again. Also more memorable so I don't lose things.
2. Leave cupboard doors open. Saves loads of opening and closing time and it also helps you see where things are. 3. Never make your bed; it will just get messed up again in a few hours.
4. Keep your clothes on a chairdrobe instead of a floordrobe. It's easier on your back.
Read 13 tweets
22 Jul 18
I haven't really written about that! Those are deep question. At the start you are a PhD student so your supervisor gives you problems. Then every time you achieve something it opens up new problems. One of the skills is to recognise what might be interesting and fruitful. 1/n
2/n Personally I periodically write lists of things that have occurred to me to think about. Often I'll do an initial investigation to test the waters, and then decide what to think about first. Often it chooses itself for me because I can't stop thinking about it.
When it comes to choosing a strategy: that's often how I pick which question to think about next, because I actually have a strategy in mind. If I have no strategy in mind, just an interesting question, that is quite likely to come to a dead end quickly. 3/n
Read 17 tweets
7 Mar 18
I dare you to stop using the word "talented". The idea of "talent" perpetuates the myth that there is something you have to be born with in order to be good at something.
It stops people achieving things if they think it's futile because they're not "talented". It invalidates the hard work that people put in to achieve things. It is part of a fixed mindset when it's more productive to think about growth.
It makes an exclusive culture around things like music, maths and possibly everything if we use language that suggests that some people just can and some people just can't.
Read 4 tweets

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