I can no longer keep track of all the people named Blake
There are so many of them
I have given up
I am sorry to the Blakes affected

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More from @marccold

29 Oct
why can't the snow just MELT
I am watching MSW! without booze, because work night
"Night of the Headless Horseman," 'cause it sounds Halloweenish
Read 7 tweets
28 Oct
man, I have such bougie fantasies sometimes
like, a hot tub. I would like a hot tub of my very own.
or I'll just fantasize about having a new expensive condo and a new expensive car, nothing old except my books, everything new

while I'm walking to work. from my apartment. which I rent.
Read 4 tweets
28 Oct
I was reading a book last night where the narrator, a computer that is able to access all official information, gives the weight (and other vital stats) of every attractive woman who appears in the narrative

and they're all described as weighing less than a hundred pounds
now, are there a lot of women who weigh less than a hundred pounds? yes! but I'm a little disturbed that this is the description of literally every young woman in the book
I suspect the author just thinks that over a hundred pounds sounds fat, even if you're 5'7" (which a lot of these women are)
Read 4 tweets
28 Oct
what the hell is this fridge thing
I have weird stuff in my fridge because I'm hesitant to toss anything in the event I need to quarantine (my fridge is my own, other people are not affected by my fridge choices)
and I have unhealthy stuff in my fridge because I'm depressed by the CONSTANT THREAT OF POSSIBLY HAVING TO QUARANTINE
Read 5 tweets
28 Oct
the mask goes OVER YOUR MOUTH God I can't believe I have to keep repeating this Image
and uh also don't decapitate people with your hatchet, that too is bad for public health
this is from a 1971 film vaguely based on "The Murders in the Rue Morgue" and starring, improbably, Jason Robards
Read 61 tweets
15 Oct
A HALLOWEEN STORY.

Part 1 of 3.

"It's been twenty years since anyone was killed in the library," Miss Eliot pointed out as she wheeled the book truck down the hallway. "I'm sure everything will be fine."

"I don't know," I said. "It was bad, last time."

She sniffed.
"You need to consider the laws of averages," Miss Eliot said. "That's the trouble with your generation. You don't take risks."

My generation? I'm almost forty. I don't have a generation anymore.

"It was bad," I said stubbornly. "I remember."
I did, too. I was the one who was supposed to open the library on that November 1. I was the one who noticed that it was seeping out from under the doors. It still had that bluish tinge blood does when it's fresh.

"I think we should continue being closed on Halloween," I said.
Read 118 tweets

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