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Kara Calavera Profile picture
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7 Nov, 6 tweets, 2 min read
Poor plant. (Not mine.)
Hello, George!

Hello, custom Funko of yours truly!

Hello, Monroe!
This was a great calendar.
These were also great calendars. #hoarder
Such a pretty view! 'Tis a pity that my desk has been as far from a view (and even a natural light source) as it possibly could've been for the past 7 years.

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More from @KaraCalavera

Kara Calavera Profile picture
7 Nov
Yay! We've won the presidency.

Now we can focus on winning those Senate seats in Georgia.

And we can also work on our messaging! /1
"Defund the police" should never be uttered again by a Democratic politician. What you mean is that you want to reform the police. You want to demilitarize the police. You want the police to think before the shoot.

Let's work on a better slogan. /2
"Medicare for All!" isn't the best slogan because there are millions of Americans who know that Medicare kinda sucks. What you actually want is *Medicaid* for all. But you don't want to say that because Americans associate Medicaid unemployed folks.

Let's work on it. /3
Read 8 tweets
Kara Calavera Profile picture
7 Nov
This has been on my desk since March 13th. It's half-full.

🤢
🤮
WHY DID I HAVE TO OPEN IT?!
Read 5 tweets
Kara Calavera Profile picture
7 Nov
Translation: he was fired.
People who find it impossible to believe he was abusive in his relationship must never have loved an addict. If you have, you know that a seemingly rational, loving being can become a monster very quick under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
It really didn't have to go this way for him. It didn't.

I hope he shrugs off his enablers and gets the help he needs.
Read 4 tweets
Kara Calavera Profile picture
7 Nov
I told my friends on election night to be patient. We'd win Pennsylvania.

I waited. I didn't sleep. I waited some more. I was determined to not sleep through history.

And then I laid down on the couch just to rest my eyes and PA was called.
If you've been following me long enough, you'll know that good news only occurs when I fall asleep accidentally. Tax returns get published. Cronies get arrested. Trumps get Covid.
And now states get called after 4 days.

It's only possible when this insomniac finally falls asleep.

You are all welcome.
Read 4 tweets
Kara Calavera Profile picture
5 Nov
In better news, I think I've mastered air fryer pepperoni balls.

They're not quite the same, but they're good enough for me to avoid Erie for another decade.
Pillsbury refrigerated 'classic' pizza dough (of all things!) rolled into balls about the size of a golf ball, stuffed with three pieces of pepperoni, and rolled in melted butter. Set the air fryer to 370 and set the timer to 7 minutes.
The pepperoni ball sounds simple enough, but it's not.

It's fried just enough so that the outside is crispy and the first layer is airy, but but it still needs to maintain some moisture at the center. That creates a sort of pocket around the pepperoni.
Read 5 tweets
Kara Calavera Profile picture
5 Nov
I wish I'd done more with my life.

It ain't that bad for me. I've done better than my parents even without some boosts they had. Unlike them, I never had ground to land on. I've only had myself to rely on.

I take some pride in that. I don't owe anyone anything. /1
But as I inch towards middle age, I think I could've and should've done better.

I wish I'd reached higher. /2
To this day, I feel like I'm lesser than. Lesser than what? I'm not sure.

Sometimes people tell me I'm smart, but I still don't think I am. Sometimes people say I'm pretty, but that's not what I see when I look in the mirror. I see no good in myself at all. /3
Read 6 tweets

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