I just remembered my first panic attack. I had a crush on a girl and she invited me out to a quiet club with like 8 of her friends. I was like maybe 24? And I was out of my league. Everyone else was far better dressed and could afford fancy drinks, so... panic attack. Image
I could never fit in with these people. They were prettier, richer, smarter, classier than I had business trying to be around. I tried to fake it to make it, but I just KNEW I was gonna make a foible or say something or do something not in my favour. Rejection was a certainty. Image
Before I lost face, I excused myself from the group, went to the door, and asked the doorman to get me a taxi.

My chest was tight, I couldn’t breathe or think straight, and even had trouble walking down the full flight of stairs to the door. I was acutely aware of my fear. Image
While I waited, they brought me some water, and then the girl found me. I felt so small and broken.

She had sympathy and even identified I was probably having a panic attack. She did all the right things at that moment. She even paid for the cab.

I rode home in tears. Image
Looking back I never really had a chance with her. I was nowhere near being relationship material myself yet.

Because I’ve been rejected so much I’ve had a fear of rejection all my life. It hurts to think I mustered up the courage to go along, to be sabotaged by a panic attack. Image
The memory still hurts. I tell myself I failed that night. I don’t think it went as planned, for either of us. Image
But the one thing I tell myself is even though that was not my night, she did think enough of me before that to invite me. And that I even thought enough of myself to try πŸ₯²

End. Image

β€’ β€’ β€’

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
γ€€

Keep Current with Juniper 🦨 πŸ–Ό OPEN πŸ“ŒπŸ‘€

Juniper 🦨 πŸ–Ό OPEN πŸ“ŒπŸ‘€ Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @skunktaur

11 Nov
Okay, let’s try this for my four-armed tigertauress OC, Liara! ImageImageImageImage
1. Liara would order LLBs, lemon lime and bitters
2 & 3. Liara has a huge sweet tooth, but her favourite foods are Indian curry and Mexican.
Read 51 tweets
7 Aug 19
Okay, lets try another one of these bandwagons ;)
1. In the fandom 23 years denying my furry side, but then this year gave myself permission to actually make a sona and participate! Yup, I'm old.
2. I discovered the fandom online, but its more appropriate to say I discovered furries through a friend's copy of CU Amiga magazine with a special on Eric Schwartz and his digital illustrations. Clarisse Cat. Then went online and discovered his webcomic & art archive. I was ~15.
Read 33 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!