I want to talk a little bit about AHDH and burnout.
In particular I want to talk about how some things we associate with ADHD are actually behaviors we learned to deal with a disabeling environment.
#neurodiversesquad
In particular I want to talk about how some things we associate with ADHD are actually behaviors we learned to deal with a disabeling environment.
#neurodiversesquad
I am currently recovering from burn-out and have returned to work after a month off. Before I went off I was having panic attacks, insomnia, crippeling executive dysfunction and constant fatigue. I was also convinced that a) I was fine and b)nothing could make me better.
I still have some shit to figure out in terms of why I crashed as hard as I did (and why it keeps happening) but one thing that is becoming clearer and clearer to me is that all thoughout my education I have been actively discouraged from taking care of myself
One thing my therapist kept coming back to in our sessions was that I have stupidly high expecatitions of myself. That I do not allow myself to rest.
The thing is that is not how I see myself
The thing is that is not how I see myself
And if I think about why that is I think of all the countless times growing up that I was told I have potential but need to apply myself. That the unpolished quality of my work was a sign that I wasn't taking things seriously enough. That I was smart but lazy.
Growing up with undiagnosed dyslexia and ADHD I was constantly failing at things that others find easy while being able to do things others find very hard easy. I understand why people would think I simply wasn't trying when I handed in good work one week and bad work the next
But the tragic thing is that there was no connection between how hard I was working (or trying to work) and how well I was doing.
But because I had no way to understand that I internalised the idea that I was to lazy/arrogant to study things that didn't interest me.
But because I had no way to understand that I internalised the idea that I was to lazy/arrogant to study things that didn't interest me.
I'm sure there's other good theories out there on why people with ADHD are so prone to burn-out (and I am really happy to learn more) but this one really struck me.
We think of people with ADHD as impulsive and not being able to self-regulate.
We think of people with ADHD as impulsive and not being able to self-regulate.
But how am I supposed to know how to do these things when adults I trusted through almost 20 yeast of education have constantly encouraged me to work harder and harder at tasks I was doomed to fail simply because my brain doesn't work that way?
I have seen some of the discussions on autistic twitter about how some of the traits associated with autism are actually trauma responses.
I think this is an important discussion to have for all neurodivergences.
I think this is an important discussion to have for all neurodivergences.
Anyway I hope this is useful for some of you.
The trauma of growing up in an environment that actively encourages you to develop habits that harm you is a fucking lot to deal with. Give yourself a break for not being able to do things that were trained out of you
The trauma of growing up in an environment that actively encourages you to develop habits that harm you is a fucking lot to deal with. Give yourself a break for not being able to do things that were trained out of you
@threadreaderapp unroll please
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