Thread by @farmersway

Can't help but wonder how those airline pilots jumping into headers and chasers tractors are fairing.

'Good morning everyone, this is your header captain speaking. We'll be getting underway very shortly, just waiting for ground crew to clear some bin space...

'...Today we are flying the Case 8230, quite a solid little workhorse. All our pre-flight checks are complete and all systems are in the red. That's just a little Case operators joke there, because it's red.... *cough*...'

'...ahem...In case of emergency your exit is to the left. In case of fire, we advise to take the following steps: very large and very fast ones in the opposite direction.'

'... It is a lovely summer's morning, with some slight dew about that will slow our initial take-off, but we expect to hit cruising speed as the day warms. The outside temperature is forcast to be a balmy who-gives-a-shit, as such things don't concern us header captains.'

'..For now please ensure your steering column is in the upright position and travel mug lids secure. We will be smashing hectares very shortly. Thank you for flying Harvestaire.'

'Morning all, this is your captain once again. We are well underway, cruising at a steady 45 ton an hour. We expect to maintain this velocity provided ground crew can keep pace. If you look out your left window you'll see we are currently unloading into the chaser.....'

'...Later we will be serving a fine selection of whatever could be found in the pantry at 5am this morning. And while it is tempting we do suggest refraining from consuming it all before 10am. For now please sit back and enjoy the ride.'

'We have turned off the seatbelt sign, but advise against standing while in motion, as this will trigger the seat alarm and bring everything to a grinding halt. If you do need a personal break there are empty ice coffee cartons available in the bottom corner of the cabin.

'Chaser, you are clear for approach on the port side. Hold your velocity at a steady 8 knots, thank you.'

'We apologise for the unexpected turbulence. It would appear the air seeder driver did not mark that rock pile on the charts.'

'Copy ground control, this is Case 8230 making our final run for the night. Are we clear for landing approach, over?'

'Negative, Case 8230, we have secured another 100 ton of storage. Maintain current holding pattern. We have your landing re-scheduled for 1100 hours.'

'Welcome to turnaround, where it's currently 0100 hours local time. We apologise for the delay, but trust you have enjoyed smashing hectares with us today. Please ensure you have collected your tucker box, thermos, and any other belongings. Thank you for flying with Harvestaire.'