Thread by @davidplotz

What follows is the greatest idea I’ve ever had. It is about Love Actually. I’m going to pause while all you Love Actually haters exit, and leave us Actual Lovers alone. #loveactually 1/too many

OK, now that we’re all together. Love Actually is great! I rewatch it every year. But let’s admit there are problems with it. There are some glaring weak bits and absences. There’s no gayness! Too much whiteness. 2/a lot

And some of the storylines are really bad. Don’t get me started about Kiera Knightley. Or the cringey Martin Freeman bits. 3/

Wouldn’t it be great to have a Love Actually that has all the good stuff, none the bad stuff, and exciting new stuff? But wait, you’re saying: That’s impossible! 4/x

Oh no it’s not! It’s very possible! 5/x

The Idea came to me as I watched that darling blonde boy from Love Actually all sexed up in The Queen’s Gambit. The Idea is: EVERY YEAR, THEY SHOULD REMAKE LOVE ACTUALLY… 6/x

Yes, remake it every year. In a particular way. 1/3 of the movie should be catching up with the original characters, now 25 years older, a la Before Midnight. What’s happening with Jamie and Aurelia now? Did David and Natalie stay together after he lost the 2007 election? 7/x

One-third of the movie should be new story lines, that replace the obvious duds from the original: no more Kiera Knightley stalking. This will permit gayness and other kinds of diversity to enter the Love Actually universe. 8/x

If the new storylines are popular, they can become canon, and persist in future years. 9/x

What about the final third? It should be Love Actually storylines remade more or less shot for shot with new actors. Wouldn’t Phoebe Waller-Bridge make a fantastic heir to Emma Thompson as Karen? Idris Elba succeeding Liam Neeson? 10/x

If Colin Frissell visited a Wisconsin bar in 2021, he wouldn’t meet January Jones and Elisha Cuthbert. Who would he meet? 11/x

Imagine it, every year a new Love Actually--Now That’s What I Call Love Actually 2023!--that has the comfort of the old and the surprise of the new. I will accept my Oscar offline. End!