Thread by @billcanterbury

I would like to thank my #PBChat mentor, @MichaelBSussman. I learned much from him; about writing, life, and suffering. Mainly suffering. Consider the following:

Our very first session was unscheduled. He called me at 4:30 a.m. on a Sunday. Michael said he first had to break me down as a writer, before he could rebuild me. That I must write blindfolded, with my feet in ice water, and that he himself had done that for years.

Michael’s first advice was that my picture book stories should be written with the tears of all writers who preceded me. I found that inspiring, though baffling.

He confided to me that there are no good words that use the letter “d”. I said what about “dessert”? Michael did not speak to me for a month.

Were his methods controversial? Perhaps. Illegal? According to him, no.

The highlight of the mentorship was the draft I submitted that led Michael to grudgingly say, “Finally, you idiot.”

And there were lowlights. Frankly, many. Among them:

-- One of my first drafts sent Michael into a blind rage. He sent me a bill for his broken furniture.

-- The zoom chat where all my questions were answered with “Blah Blah”.

-- The day I caught Michael staring at me through my window.

-- His insistence that picture book first drafts should be 12,000 words, in order to “flesh out the characters” and “find their psychological limits.” Michael was right. I could not fairly write “the giraffe was happy” before my exploration of giraffes’ consciousness of joy.

-- The daily pushups, I still don’t understand.

Over time though I saw the value of Michael’s methods. My sentences grew sharper as my shoulders grew stronger. And to future writers, I lend you my tears.

So, thank you Michael.

(He demanded that I publicly thank him.)

(And that I pay him. I had thought it was a free mentorship, but he quickly clarified no, and that my cash payments should go directly to him, and that all mentees were doing that, and not to bother @JustinRColon with questions about it.)