Ok honestly I feel like the thing that healthy people don't get about diagnosis is how much it feels like getting the key to a cipher.
Like you spend [months/years/a lifetime] alternately tuning into and out of your body with much concerted effort, but every time you tune in it's just chaos.
Nothing makes sense and everything feels terrible. And those feelings compound each other.
Nothing makes sense and everything feels terrible. And those feelings compound each other.
And if you get misdiagnosed (which happens a lot), you're left with this unease like... why hasn't the chaos become a bit more orderly?
Self diagnosis is what happens when you find order in the chaos before anybody else does.
Anyway, over [months/years/a lifetime] you've probably tried a ton of keys. And maybe some of them were really promising, but the overall picture still didn't really make sense.
And meanwhile most people around you are like "this chaos analogy makes literally no sense to me."
And meanwhile most people around you are like "this chaos analogy makes literally no sense to me."
And so accurate diagnosis, however you come by it, is an oasis of clarity.
You tune into the chaos and notice some currents.
Everything still feels terrible a lot of the time, but it's not as terrible as it was before, when nothing made sense.
You tune into the chaos and notice some currents.
Everything still feels terrible a lot of the time, but it's not as terrible as it was before, when nothing made sense.
(extremely casual reminder that you can support my work collecting chronic illness stories if you wanna & you can comfortably spare a $/£/€)
https://twitter.com/bennessb/status/1325535326593486851?s=19
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