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Brett Bigham LGBT youth of color need your support Profile picture
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29 Nov, 13 tweets, 6 min read
#Twitterstory!!! I'm bored!!

My friend went to visit her family & called me breathlessly in the middle of the night!

Beth: OH MY GOSH I HAD THE SCARIEST DREAM! I WOKE UP SCREAMING!!

Me: What was it?!

Beth: I was driving the Buick Riviera down a country road...
(more)
Beth: It's dark-I can't see-up ahead there is something in the road-I'm going too fast to stop-I'm getting really scared and suddenly-just as I am about to run over it-(She starts getting loud, she is scared and unnerved!!) IT STANDS UP!! (She screams-totally freaking out)
(more)
OH MY GOD!!! I think!!! What horrible terrible thing did my friend see in this nightmare that has her calling me up in near hysterics!!?!!

Me: (now almost yelling myself!) What was it??!!!

Beth: IT WAS SO SCARY! (she squeals)

Me: WHAT???!!

Beth: A PINECONE!!!
(more)
Me: A pinecone?

Beth: It was terrible! It was so awful!! It stood up right in front of the car in the headlights, and I SCREAMED and then it opened its eyes and threw up its arms and screamed at me with little teeth and I RAN OVER IT!!!!

More
I couldn't stop laughing... I was picking her up at the airport the next night, so I spent the entire day driving around Los Angeles looking for pine cones. I glued google eyes, arms and gnashing teeth on them and hid them all over her apartment. Hidden inside everything.
(more)
I picked her up at the airport that night and she told me all about her horrible dream and we were in hysterics laughing. She lived across the courtyard from me, she headed up. A few minutes later there was a blood curdling scream.

That was followed by...
(more)
A second scream as she found the pine cone hiding behind her (rotary) phone.

My friend, by the way, was the sweetest nicest person I'd ever met. She never cursed.

"Ring Ring" said my phone.

Through the window I heard another scream.

#&#^#*#$#*#&!!!!" Said my phone...
(more)
So tonight I was about to write my friend a Christmas card... and decided instead to make her one....

(more)
Which led to me making her a calendar...
Which I hope she likes...
Because, for several years, she would stumble upon a hidden pine cone and call me all mad. Maybe this will make up for that?
#PineConeChristmas
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Maybe this will give you a chuckle @philshapiro . :0)

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More from @2014ORTOY

Brett Bigham LGBT youth of color need your support Profile picture
27 Nov
My mother, with her broken foot, showed up tonight with two big boxes of food. Instead of resting her foot, she baked a turkey, made dressing, veggies, mashed potatoes, gravy, jello w/ pears like when I was a kid, a tub of my favorite olives, a can of cranberry (more)
De-canned and in her GOOD TUPPERWARE, no less. Also a can of whipped cream a pumpkin pie for my best friend James, who rents our first floor, and a cheese cake for Mike. An entire cheesecake. "I brought you half a turkey, I hope that's enough." (more)
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Mom: I realized yesterday I was the only one in my family who was alone.
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Mom: Enjoy your dinner!
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Brett Bigham LGBT youth of color need your support Profile picture
25 Oct
I have been sending home a packet for every single school day with an art project, some hands-on activities, handwriting-some silliness. My cat makes frequent guest teacher appearances. He also helps with the Ms and Ws in handwriting. #cat
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I've had to stop using two different pairs of scissors because of blisters. This new pair I am using upside down-the only way I can cut without it hurting!

My mom sewed beanbags for all my students-the delivery box will now be a game/toy box.

I'm not alone.
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Brett Bigham LGBT youth of color need your support Profile picture
5 Oct
So...underwear dad is not even my worst experience in online meetings this past week.

My husband is also working for home, doing his serious university job, with their serious meetings.

I have a habit of breaking into song. Not humming...but, you know, full on
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opera singing. Opera Chorus was my paid job in college. My voice is so big (like a trumpet, I've been told) I've never needed a microphone...even when the rest of the cast has one. This boy can sing.

Mike doesn't like musical because they aren't realistic. People just don't
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In the real world, break into song and dance. But, I point out, I do those things all the time...usually singing to a pet, and making up new words as I go.

Earlier this year I embarrassed myself by grabbing up Ribi and singing some made up song about fluffy cats... During (more)
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Brett Bigham LGBT youth of color need your support Profile picture
29 Sep
I had no idea what to expect in Bangladesh. They picked me up at the airport and whisked me to my hotel with orders to be ready as quickly as possible for "the concert."

Ends up the embassy crossed some wires, I was a day later than expected-so I threw on nice clothes... (more)
And was bundled off to The Children's Concert-and annual fundraiser for visually impaired children that takes place in their National Performing Arts Center. I had no idea but, apparently I was a guest of honor.

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So, I smiled + an entire wall of Bangla Paparazzi line up + suddenly I'm like Rula Lenska! FLASH FLASH FLASH!

(I'm very disappointed by the internet-no Rula Lens gifs?!

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Brett Bigham LGBT youth of color need your support Profile picture
25 Sep
Since I seem to be recommending books lately, besides @dailystem's new tome, I also recommend these @doverpubs Little Stained Glass Activity Books. $2 or so-my class is small enough for a couple bucks I have: a dinosaur/insect/plant activity I can send to my students.
AND, they are pretty and our students need some pretty in their lives right now.

Note: I can only do this because I have a small class & someone donated colored pencils to ALL my students.

I am also pleased to now have rubber bands that did not come off the broccoli.
Oh, and my friend Chris @dailystem wrote a book. He asked me to read an earlier version-which I thought good enough to recommend. And if you follow me, you know I don't recommend things often. I share a lot, because there is a lot out there. But I don't recommend many.
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Brett Bigham LGBT youth of color need your support Profile picture
21 Sep
SAILING? You are going sailing? I was briefly in Sailing Club at college-1984-new blue Sperry topsiders-Nov storm, out on the lake, my friend loses a rope-boat almost tipped-I lean out-I lean out-he yanks back his rope, boat tips back to me (more)

How's that for a cliffhanger?!
I hit the water-and now the boat is going to tip over my way if I don't let go of the rope. So-as a thoughtless friend (and honorable sailor) I let go and was left in the Nov. winter lake-as my friends shriek with laughter-fall into the bottom of the boat, and leave me.

(more)
And I tread water, and I tread water, and my new blue Sperry topsider floats away, and I'm freaking freezing and my friends never come back. The wind is blowing their shrieks of laughter at me but...yeah... Did I mention storm? November? Oregon?

(more)
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