Thread by @CSakwah

Story Thread

Being the largest shopping mall in Kenya makes the Two Rivers Mall one of the places every Kenyan wants to go shopping. When I had five hundred bob and a few hours to spare last Saturday, I thought, why not?

Was the hype that surrounds shopping at the mall worth it?
The first shop to enter was Carrefour. I did not take long inside the supermarket before a lady reminded me that maybe I was better placed shopping at QuickMatt, Joyland Supermarket, Naivas, and the ilk.

It all started when I was walking through the rows of stands when I noticed a beautiful lady struggling to pick an item from a stall.
True to my guess, she was struggling to pick up a bottle of Rexona from a top shelf.

I would have walked past her had she not requested me to help her get the product. She was as tall as I was. Maybe she hadn't shaved her armpits yet or she had run down her previous bottle of Rexona and was scared to defuse the pungent smell from under her armpits.

Nonetheless, I decided to help her pick the item.
I stretched my hand and picked the Rexona bottle and added it to her almost empty shopping trolley. I thought I was done with her after that until she asked me if I knew where she could pick kotex panty liners.

It was my first time in the mall, additionally, I don't use panty liners. I wondered why she thought I knew where to find panty liners. Because she was offering me a very very sweet smile, I thought why not just hang there and see what our little interaction would have led into.

She was very beautiful, I must confess. My decision to help her might have been inspired by a lewd desire to ogle her ass and rich cleavage more than act an act of being a good samaritan.

There was some admiration I would have earned from other shoppers walking around the store next to a very beautiful girl. I even offered to push her trolley towards the panty liner row that I had no idea where to find it.

I pushed in silence as I danced in the envious stares I received from men around.
'You shop here more often?' She asked.
‘At Karifo?’ I asked.
‘It is pronounced as kaafo and not karifo.’ she corrected me loudly. Her voice attracted a few stares. I was really embarrassed.

'I don’t shop here always.' I stammered.
'I see.' She said. 'Where are you from? I am from Runda. Are you also from Runda, Rosslyn, Nyali or Muthaiga?' She asked. I wondered why she had skipped Ruaka, Banana, Gacharage, and all the places that borders or are close to Two Rivers?

Or did she assume that people from Ruaka and the ilk don't shop at Two Rivers?
'I am from Ruaka.' I said.
'There are no malls in Ruaka?' she asked.
'There are. Not malls like this one but supermarkets.'
'Why didn't you shop at Ruaka then? Or was your tank full?'

She was chatty with a condescending tone. I was already annoyed with her antics at that time.
‘There is something that I wanted to buy that I can only find here.’ I lied.
‘What is it?’ She asked. How was that even her problem?

At that time, I was already regretting agreeing to go on that mission.
‘Just something.’ I replied when I could not think of anything. As I pushed the trolley around, she would ask me to stop occasionally to pick something from the stalls.

Before we could find the panty-liners, her trolley was almost full. She had reduced me to this guy who pushed her trolley around the store, often asking to stop so that she can pick something.
In one row, she asked me to stop because she wanted to buy chocolate.

I almost screamed at her not to pick a bar of chocolate worthy 5k because its price was half my monthly house-rent. Yaani mtu anakula half my rent is ten mouth bites?
As we walked around the mall, I thought I stood a chance with her.

I promised myself to pick her number at the counter after she had paid for everything. At least, I thought, I deserved her number.
Satisfied that she had everything she needed, she asked me to push the trolley to the counter. I did as promised, simping on my desperation.

Amrex would have been mad at me. Just when I was about to ask for her number, she pulled out her phone. I thought she was about to give me her number. Instead, she called a man whom she referred to as babe and asked him to come to pay for whatever she had picked.

A minute later, I saw a tall man in sandals, shorts, and with his car keys dangling in his hands in a show-off manner. They hugged. When the guy asked her who I was, with his car keys pointing towards my direction in a condescending manner,

she said, ‘nobody. I guess he works here, you know like he pushes customer’s trolleys around.’ My ego and pride have never been pierced in such an unforgiving and savagery manner.’ I lost all the energy to tour the rest of Two Rivers Mall.

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