Thread by @edyong209

Well, rewatching Lord of the Rings this year was... different.

Consider BILBO: just wants to finish his damn book; “butter spread over too much bread”; ages dramatically

GANDALF: would rather be doing pretty fireworks; instead has to ride around shouting policy advice at inexplicably reluctant leaders; can’t get a day off even when dead

THEODEN: “What can men do against such reckless hate? A THREAD 1/“

MERRY: normally happy guy who fully loses his shit over the incredibly powerful beings who take months to agree on the most basic stuff

DENETHOR: wields power over an entire city and *could* save everyone but instead decides to set himself and his loved ones on fire; also eating indoors, come on man.

BALROG: angry; on fire; probably doing yet another podcast interview; cooped up too long and skin is in an absolute state

FRODO & SAM: tired; can’t remember taste of strawberries; just going to have a little nap; everything around them is on fire; this is fine.

SAURON: does not sleep; ever watchful; Doomscrolling

(This one's good too:

https://twitter.com/PaulMinda1/status/1335338238672826368

)

LEGOLAS: why is everyone so down?; using this time to learn new hobbies; birdwatching, surfing, riding, kayaking; keen on scoring points

GALADRIEL: chilling out in fancy country house; sending you thoughts and prayers; gift-giving is her love language

WORMTONGUE: this &£@?ing guy; witless yet somehow in a position of political power; gives terrible advice; sliding into your DMs

SARUMAN: once wise but increasingly deranged with every zoom call; bad at gardening; good at quarantine puppies

ARAGORN: reluctantly getting involved because everyone else is rubbish; co-founder of Orc Tracking Project; grungy but it works for him; prefers athleisure to office clothes

GOLLUM: too used to quarantine; can’t be bothered to get dressed; social skills have deteriorated; needs to hydrate; ill-advisedly going out in public despite terrible cough

NEW ZEALAND: the real hero of the story; doing very well for itself; you want to be there

BEACON-OPERATORS OF MINAS TIRITH: sitting on top of a cold, lonely mountain for years, waiting to sound the alarm when a long-predicted calamity occurs and hoping that everyone reacts appropriat... wait they did WHAT?

BOROMIR: armchair human who has read three scrolls about Mordor but thinks he understands it better than the 6000-year-old elf general who actually fought there

ENTS: nature is healing

(People have requested EOWYN but I can’t top this one:

https://twitter.com/rlsdvm_epivet/status/1335323455928078336

)