I realized for the first time yesterday that a constant insecurity I had growing up was never being good enough & therefore never deserving of anyone’s commitment & care, & it still affects me in ways today.
I’m still learning how to look past that & see myself in a community.
I’m still learning how to look past that & see myself in a community.
https://twitter.com/fabb1108/status/1337995789671550976
I fight for my own joy now, but still... I feel like I have to do it alone.
And I’m desperately trying to not do that to myself.
Starting by letting friends in to the deepest parts of myself.
And I’m desperately trying to not do that to myself.
Starting by letting friends in to the deepest parts of myself.
I see the people that I love & keep standing off in a distance just happy to see them smile.
But there’s always that underlying sadness & wondering why I’m not standing with them, laughing & smiling, too.
There’s still doubt within belief.
But there’s always that underlying sadness & wondering why I’m not standing with them, laughing & smiling, too.
There’s still doubt within belief.
I wrote this almost 5 years ago & didn’t realize why until now. 
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