Thread by @A_Silent_Child

Heard back from the surgeon who canceled my surgery. I don't get even a penny of my money back.

I wasn't expecting they would b/c basically they're blaming me for it being canceled because they wrote down that I wanted it totally flat even though I corrected them on that more than once during my consultation

Basically they're saying it's my fault for not being clear enough

But I saw they wrote down flat so I corrected it more than once to more than one person & the woman I saw after the surgeon SAID she'd tell the surgeon and get that fixed on the notes.

So it's my fault because I trusted them to get that fixed before my surgery.

So they asked me today if I wanted to reschedule with this surgeon which was confusing because he already said he can't do top surgery on nonbinary clients, only FtM. I said that - that I would like to but he said he can't do what I want. So I would need to find a new surgeon.

And then the insurance person on the phone was like "when you talk to the new surgeon make sure you're clear about what you want right from the start so they can tell you right away if they can cover it"

Which felt like a punch to the gut when I tried so hard to be clear

This whole thing is painful b/c it was traumatic to begin with...

And then also it means dealing with dysphoria longer for an unknown amount of time

And I took off school and work for this... my husband took off work. He can't just get those vacation days back.

My mom drove 4 days to get here to help with my surgery. Then day of, they canceled it and gave me no money back.

Nonbinary discrimination really sucks.

I'm still so confused why my therapist was able to get the exact same surgery I want from this surgeon, but apparently I can't.

Anyway, I don't want to get in any kind of trouble so I'm not posting the surgeons name publicly. But if you are considering top surgery in the Seattle area and want to know so you can avoid this one, feel free to DM me. Especially if you're nonbinary and/or fat.

(I didn't go into this really, but he also made comments about how the surgery wouldn't look "as good" on me because I'm fat - not someone I recommend for fat trans men or nonbinary folks)

I'm meeting with a new surgeon soon to see if they can do what I want (they said over the phone that they could) and how much it would cost.

But I'm really anxious to see how much it will cost because I already lost all the money from that other surgeon. I hate costing money.

The initial surgeon told me that he can only do FtM top surgery because it's the only thing insurance will cover.

But this new office said they don't see why a nonbinary surgery would be a problem with insurance coverage.

Also, why was I asked about nipple placement then??

I'm terrified to go into a surgeons office again though, the first one was so traumatizing. I had multiple panic attacks about it this past week.

When they called me today (they called twice) both times they asked "how are you today?"

And it pissed me off because I'm like... not ok? I'm not ok? Y'all canceled my medically necessary surgery and won't give me any of my money back for it.

I wish I'd said that.

Instead I said "I'm alright"

But I wish I'd said I'm not ok. Y'all canceled my surgery in a very traumatic way and caused me a lot of anxiety, depression, feelings of worthlessness, feelings of hopelessness, uncertainty, and pain. I cried for days. I had panic attacks.

I know this is just an NT phone script but it annoys me on a normal day (because it's insincere & they want you to lie)

It just felt extra insensitive when I've been in so much emotional pain because of them.