Thread by @pix_the_wad

Okay here's my self-indulgent thread on 3 lesbian enemies to lovers experiences with different levels of canon, flavor, and intended audiences as I, a lesbian, experienced them in my search for that perfect balance of love and hate in a sapphic story of contested romance.

My first real exposure to the enemies to lovers trope with lesbians was Shego and Kim Possible when I was like, very young. That was never canon, never implied, and I'm pretty sure Shego is an adult? But that didn't stop my google searches because I was a curious kid

After that sort of fan discovery, I didn't really consume much media, nor was there any to begin with, that fit the description of "lesbian enemies to lovers," for a loooooong time. So fast forward to young adult me in April of 2016, when Overwatch's Alive short released:

I had no idea what Overwatch was, I had never played a first-person shooter, someone just brought it to my attention. I watched that cinematic trailer and something inside me reawakened and I was not the same person I was before. I watched Alive dozens of times when it released.

The tension between the coldhearted fem fatal assassin and the plucky hero girl trying to save the day, the banter and recognition implying they have done this dance before, Tracer's disbelief twinged with a confused recognition, Widow's resignation to feeling nothing

I said to myself "Wow. There's something going on there. There's way more going on than what I just saw, and I have to know what it is." So a bought a ps3 and Overwatch a few months later.

I was aware that this game was not narrative, and I had to learn to be good at first-person shooters just to see, just to get snippets of interactions for me to piece the story of Widowmaker and Tracer together.

The funny thing is, I got really good at Overwatch. I played DPS and I had logged a combined 100 hours on Widowmaker and Tracer alone because I continued to latch on to the scraps Blizzard threw their player base with shorts and comics and in-game events.

When Blizzard released their Christmas comic confirming Tracer as a lesbian, I was ecstatic. But at the same time, she had a long time girlfriend, and it wasn't Widowmaker. It felt somewhat bittersweet, but being polyamorous myself, I know this wasn't a death sentence for my ship

That being said, I knew at that point that if this were to ever happen, something drastic would have to occur to the "story" of Overwatch. Something that wasn't exactly well executed in the first place.

I also realized that if that was ever going to happen, it wasn't soon. Over my time playing the game I became very popular on tumblr for being a widowmaker fan blog. I had read numerous fan fictions and drawn so much fan art.

I got really attached to Widowmaker as a character, and she's the reason a lot of you follow me since I cosplayed her som many times. Despite enjoying the idea of other ships, I would still go back and watch Alive and remember just how impactful the implication of romance was

Now here we are today. I don't play Overwatch anymore. There hasn't been a fanfiction that connects the dots that Blizzard refuses to in a way that satisfies me. They still release comics about Tracer and Widowmaker and they aren't getting any closer to opening their story

I have made extensive posts about gaps in these two characters' stories and abilities and lifestyles because Blizzard would rather focus on eSports than a narrative, but me doing all the work isn't what I wanted from Widowtracer. I wanted to see it evolve and develop canonically

And that never happened and it might never happen

Despite my huge grievances with Blizzard Entertainment as a company and Overwatch's lore, I can't let Widowtracer go. I don't publically make it my persona anymore because the culture surrounding Overwatch has evolved, but I still ache thinking about it.

So, surely there's something else that can scratch my itch right? Surprisingly, there was. And it came from Disney of all places: Repunzel's Tangled Adventure

I liked the Rapunzel movie back when it came out n 2010 so when it was brought to my attention, I was intrigued. The style is fantastic, it was surprisingly similar to watching a DnD party go on adventures, aaaaand there was a lesbian coded character in Cassandra.

A lady in waiting who wants to prove she's actually her kingdom's strongest warrior stuck dealing with the careless princess and her irritating fiance. Rapunzel was artsy and carefree and Cassandra was stubborn and goal oriented. So the dynamic was there.

They got.... very close over the series. Going so far as to have an episode Rapunzel gets her memory wiped and they replay the first part of the original movie as if Cass was the one to find her in the tower. Lovestruck looks and all.

Hell, there's even a book that acts as a prologue to this series where Raps and Cass perform a marriage ritual with each other.

The series did an amazing job of showing how Rapunzel's carelessness and inability to understand Cassandra's feelings slowly drove Cass to the side of betrayal. She had a whole triumphant song about ending things with Raps to forge her own path.

Come to find out, there were a lot of lesbians working on this show. The context clues were not coincidental. This was as friends to enemies to lovers as it could be for Disney.

They did everything they could to curb the "sisters" narrative that Disney wanted its audience to think about the two

These two end up duking it out big time but in the end??

Correct me if I'm wrong, but these two share the only confessions of love between major characters and I'm including Eugine in this, I'm pretty sure she doesn't say "I love you" outright, but there's a lot of episodes so who knows. They confessed that they loved each other

Holy shit?? A successfull "she has two hands with a side of enemies to lovers" ???? Could it be??? Disney????

No. In the end, Cassandra fucks off forever and Rapunzel's fiance becomes a cop.

More than unsatisfying.

If we ignore the end, it was a really organic feeling built up strenuous connection between those two main characters. It was really well done. But hey. It's a Disney Princess property. Can't do anything too radical.

I am resigned to joking about how gay this show is because it is, but not in the eyes of the almighty media monopoly that is Disney. Tragic, but it is a very fun ride.

So intersecting with me watching the Tangled series was of course: SheRa and the Princesses of Power

The ambition of this show was fairly large and I don't have to tell you how gay things are throughout the series. Canon married lesbian couple, some flirting here and there, and the main draw: the potential for childhood friends to enemies to lovers

Well, you all saw the internet celebrate. We got that catradora kiss. We got two kids working through their trauma to realize that they did, in fact, love each other and even the world ending wasn't going to change that.

The content was great. The back and forth of Adora sacrificing herself to be the hero and being blind to the people around her and catra refusing to acknowledge her trauma and feelings because everything will be fine if you're winning, right?

I was a reeeeeeaaaaaal slow burn. And it was great to have it resolved in a satisfying way.

So why wasn't I obsessed like I was with Widowtracer? Why did I feel like despite the dissatisfying ending and filler of Tangled the series that it's more worth the watch?

It's because I'm an adult... and SheRa at the end of the day is a children's show. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. I love catradora. But the whole show is centered around kids and if they aren't obviously kids, they're ambiguously aged so people like me would watch at all

SheRa and catradora was not a story about lesbian women existing in a love hate relationship, it was a coming of age story for two kids who have been through a lot together

As much as I cheered and loved the resolution that catradora brought to me as a lesbian finally viewing media I gave a shit about with lesbians that weren't hypersexualized, or look the same, or weren't important, as much as this was absolutely a victory...

This story wasn't made for me. It's made for the young gays, it's made for kids to see that love is love and stories can be about anyone. And don't get me wrong, tons of adults love SheRa and its representation, but once again, it's a kids show at the end of the day

I couldn't help but wish that this was how Tangled ended, or how Widowtracer progressed because those characters being closer to my age were more relatable. It allowed it to be messier in a way that you can't show in a kid's show about kids

Granted, Tangled could never be that either since it is also ultimately a kids's show, but all of these enemies to lovers stories? Were so close in different ways.

Widowtracer was never canon but the setting, the flavor, the implications, and the mystery were part of the intruige. It was so enticing because it really did feel forbidden. The stake were high, it was an exciting idea.

Tangled felt organic. It made sense that Cass and Raps loved each other, they just existed together and interacted in ways on screen, that frankly, in ways that people in relationships act.

And SheRa actually did it. They made the lesbian enemies to lovers canon with a side of childhood friends. The trauma was real, the feelings were real.

But were each excelled, they lacked that the others had. And... again this is just about how I personally feel about these, I'm left entertained, but unsatisfied.

When will a fictional animated piece of media arise that gives me that excitement of the enemies to lovers, that believability of the dynamic, and the actual on-screen lesbianism for an adult lesbian like me?

However long it takes, I'll wait for it. And I will hold these stories and characters with the fondness I have for them until someone makes it happen.

I feel the day I get fed up with waiting and make it myself is fast approaching.

End of thread.... for now