Thread by @justinhendrix

'Twas the night before Christmas, when amongst some in the House
Sedition was stirring! The Trumpists did grouse!
The stimulus was hung up, a humanitarian nightmare,
No hopes that relief soon would be there;

White House staff were peddling petty hatreds;
While visions of jack-boots danced in their heads;
And Nancy in her 'kerchief, and McConnell in his cap,
Had just settled their brains for a long winter's nap,

When on the South Lawn there arose such a clatter,
Donald sprang from his bed to see what’s the matter.
Away to the window his orange flesh did splash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon’s reflection off the new bunker wall,
Gave a lustre of midday unto it all,
When what to his sunken eyes did appear,
But a moving van with boxes and gear,

With a wizened old driver with hair white as snow,
I knew in a moment he must be Old Joe.
With boxes of research and briefs his staff came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Susan! now, Kerry! now Ron Klain and Blinken
On, Sanders! on, Donilon! On, Psaki and Yellen!
Let’s take on the virus! Let’s tear down that wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
"When they take the low road, we take the high!";
So off to plan an inauguration they flew
With a sleigh full of aides, and Old Joe too—

And then, in a twinkling, Donald heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of old Satan’s hoof.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the Devil came with a bound.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of lawsuits he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his pitch fork, how scary!
His cheeks red as roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was black as a crow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a sinful round belly
That shook when he laughed- his breath was quite smelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right evil old elf,
Donald cowered when he saw him, in spite of himself;
The glint in his eye and a full twist of his head
Soon gave Donald to know he had something to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
Put Donald in stocks; then turned to the jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

Then the door flew open, there was a great whistle,
The secret service flew in like a missile.
I heard Donald exclaim, ‘ere he was dragged out of sight—
“This was all a great hoax, I’ve not begun yet to fight!”