New! *The Mid-Sodor Murders*
A THREAD of revelations which prove Thomas the Tank Engine stories hide evidence of serial killing & psychopathic torture inflicted by engines & humans.
Episode 1. "Murder at the Sidings": Oliver finally loses it with a subordinate wagon’s backchat...
A THREAD of revelations which prove Thomas the Tank Engine stories hide evidence of serial killing & psychopathic torture inflicted by engines & humans.
Episode 1. "Murder at the Sidings": Oliver finally loses it with a subordinate wagon’s backchat...
Episode 2. “Murder on the Mountain”.
Fed up with being pushed around on the first day of services, one of the rack railway coaches loses her shit and with a neat sideways wobble knocks Godred clean orf. Left for dead in the valley. That’ll learn ‘im.
Fed up with being pushed around on the first day of services, one of the rack railway coaches loses her shit and with a neat sideways wobble knocks Godred clean orf. Left for dead in the valley. That’ll learn ‘im.
Episode 3. “Murder by Torture”
Stanley got ideas above his station. So they took away his wheels, and bricked him & his loud mouth up at the back of the shed. Now they use him to pump water, refilling other thirsty engines. Fancy a drink, Stanley? They laugh. But he cannot reply.
Stanley got ideas above his station. So they took away his wheels, and bricked him & his loud mouth up at the back of the shed. Now they use him to pump water, refilling other thirsty engines. Fancy a drink, Stanley? They laugh. But he cannot reply.
Episode 4. “Murder by Progress”
A vindictive gang of BR Diesels convince the Fat Controller that infernal combustion is the future: so Sir Topham Hatt sends half his steam fleet off for scrap. But it's only after the 1973 oil crisis occurs that he realises his terrible mistake...
A vindictive gang of BR Diesels convince the Fat Controller that infernal combustion is the future: so Sir Topham Hatt sends half his steam fleet off for scrap. But it's only after the 1973 oil crisis occurs that he realises his terrible mistake...
Episode 5: “Railwaymen of God”.
The Fat Clergyman, Thin Clergyman and Thin Controller plot a vengeful killing-spree of mouthy Union reps with pin-point accuracy. No stationmaster, platelayer or signalled should sleep safely tonight. Socialists? We'll have none of them on SODOR
The Fat Clergyman, Thin Clergyman and Thin Controller plot a vengeful killing-spree of mouthy Union reps with pin-point accuracy. No stationmaster, platelayer or signalled should sleep safely tonight. Socialists? We'll have none of them on SODOR
Episode 6 “The Island of Dr Sodeau”
Remember Godred, knocked off the mountain by a furious carriage? Turns out he wasn’t quite dead. However,“his remains were scavenged to keep other engines going.” Today Culdee has woken up to find a second face on his arse, & an odd personality
Remember Godred, knocked off the mountain by a furious carriage? Turns out he wasn’t quite dead. However,“his remains were scavenged to keep other engines going.” Today Culdee has woken up to find a second face on his arse, & an odd personality
Episode 7: “Murder in Mind”
Mavis often got angry... very angry. But one day, she noticed that if she thought *really* hard, she could make things happen. Like landslips. Or bridge-collapses. Or flipping a lorry over, literally killing any competition to her branchline monopoly.
Mavis often got angry... very angry. But one day, she noticed that if she thought *really* hard, she could make things happen. Like landslips. Or bridge-collapses. Or flipping a lorry over, literally killing any competition to her branchline monopoly.
8. "Duke’s Revenge".
Falcon and Stuart teased old Duke mercilessly. Until, that was, he pushed Falcon down a ravine. “Where’s Falcon?” asked Stuart. Duke glowered. Then later giggled, remembering he'd had Stuart’s safety valve wedged shut. Stuart exploded into a million pieces.
Falcon and Stuart teased old Duke mercilessly. Until, that was, he pushed Falcon down a ravine. “Where’s Falcon?” asked Stuart. Duke glowered. Then later giggled, remembering he'd had Stuart’s safety valve wedged shut. Stuart exploded into a million pieces.
9. “Everyone Hates Oliver”
Oliver was an irritating prig; Sodor had enough.
So late one night, staff chalked “SCRAP” over him & smothered his chimney. Douglas towed him to the scrapyard: he was cut up. Douglas told the others. "Ha!" laughed the Fat Controller."I never liked him!"
Oliver was an irritating prig; Sodor had enough.
So late one night, staff chalked “SCRAP” over him & smothered his chimney. Douglas towed him to the scrapyard: he was cut up. Douglas told the others. "Ha!" laughed the Fat Controller."I never liked him!"
10. “Better Late Than Dead”
Peter Sam was a gormless idiot. Thinking about bunny rabbits, one day he left early - leaving Mrs Lady behind. Uh-oh.
“I’m the Controller’s wife!” she exclaimed, catching them up. “I’m having YOU scrapped!” So she did. The other engines were DELIGHTED
Peter Sam was a gormless idiot. Thinking about bunny rabbits, one day he left early - leaving Mrs Lady behind. Uh-oh.
“I’m the Controller’s wife!” she exclaimed, catching them up. “I’m having YOU scrapped!” So she did. The other engines were DELIGHTED
Episode 11: "Final Destination"
Clarabel, one of Thomas's carriages, was left a tidy inheritance when sister Annie passed away from dry rot. So she spent the lot on famed Killer-4-Hire - 'Diesel 10' - to finally do what those pushed-about sisters had wanted to see *years* ago.
Clarabel, one of Thomas's carriages, was left a tidy inheritance when sister Annie passed away from dry rot. So she spent the lot on famed Killer-4-Hire - 'Diesel 10' - to finally do what those pushed-about sisters had wanted to see *years* ago.
Episode 12: "Lolita the Littlest Locomotive"
Released in 1976 with an audio LP guest-narrated by a well-known face from TV light entertainment, most copies have now been burned and most evidence of it has been quietly deleted from the archives.
Released in 1976 with an audio LP guest-narrated by a well-known face from TV light entertainment, most copies have now been burned and most evidence of it has been quietly deleted from the archives.
13. "Bill & Ben: Super-Spreader Twins"
Bill & Ben didn’t like newcomers. Didn’t trust ‘em. So when BoCo arrived, they remembered: “Coughs & Sneazels Kill Diseasels”. So these two nasty asymptomatic anti-maskers with Covid coughed a miasma over poor ol' ailing BoCo. He later died.
Bill & Ben didn’t like newcomers. Didn’t trust ‘em. So when BoCo arrived, they remembered: “Coughs & Sneazels Kill Diseasels”. So these two nasty asymptomatic anti-maskers with Covid coughed a miasma over poor ol' ailing BoCo. He later died.
14. “Euston, we have a problem”
Once really useful engines, alas those locos let it slide. Parties and paparazzi - and pranks played on each other - suddenly seemed more important than passengers. When one morning not a single engine turned up for work, the complaints rolled in…
Once really useful engines, alas those locos let it slide. Parties and paparazzi - and pranks played on each other - suddenly seemed more important than passengers. When one morning not a single engine turned up for work, the complaints rolled in…
15. "End of the Line"
But Sir Topham Hatt finally had enough of this shit. He was cross. Shaking his head sadly, he said "You have caused confusion and delay. So I've bought shares in Hyperloop.” His scrapmen fired up their gas-axes; the engines screamed & silence fell. The end.
But Sir Topham Hatt finally had enough of this shit. He was cross. Shaking his head sadly, he said "You have caused confusion and delay. So I've bought shares in Hyperloop.” His scrapmen fired up their gas-axes; the engines screamed & silence fell. The end.
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