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29 Dec 20, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Boy where do I start...

Once I accidentally stepped on the foot of the New Zealand Prime Minister while boarding the same flight.
One I crashed into the car of a famous Brazilian musician, spent hours chatting with him and had no idea who he was until the police officer recognized him.
Man I can go on for hours on this
One I wrote an Asteroids game for Mark Russinovich and he beat the crap out of me on my own game.

But I won if you only count the legal shots. By far.

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More from @matvelloso

Go Away Profile picture
31 Dec 20
1-Go to account.live.com, security and view my activity

2-Freak out when you see how many times people try to login into your account from all over the world

3-Take the opportunity to ensure your 2FA is up to date, don't use phone/SMS (use an app), change your pwd, etc.
When I say don't use phone/SMS I'm saying explicitly remove that as an option there.

Also send a complaint to your bank if they don't offer a stronger 2FA than just text messages. They should.
Also: DO NOT reuse passwords. And no, your fancy "system" for generating and remembering unique passwords is just as bad. Your passwords likely already leaked from many websites and it takes someone little effort to guess the patterns of your fancy system. Random passwords FTW
Read 6 tweets
Go Away Profile picture
24 Nov 20
Yes, Amazon, I totally want a proprietary network to circumvent all my network security to go create a rogue peer to peer based network with my neighbors, that's definitely a think I would love, thank you.
I mean, what could go wrong
Ok, this is hilarious. "Benefits of Amazon Sidewalk":

"Amazon Sidewalk creates a low-bandwidth network with the help of Sidewalk Bridge devices including select Echo and Ring devices.
Read 5 tweets
Go Away Profile picture
24 Nov 20
My Boox NoteAir arrived and I'm in love. Still setting it up but I already like it so much more than the Remarkable. Apps! You can install OneNote! You can use a Bluetooth keyboard! OMG

The screen is gorgeous and it's super thin

boox.com/noteair/
Question is whether I should keep it distraction free or install communication apps in it... hmm....
Installing firmware update but LOOK AT THIS CUTE STYLUS
Read 20 tweets
Go Away Profile picture
23 Nov 20
So I receive a status update from USPS saying that my package is held at the post office "due to my request" (which I didn't make). I go there and find the busiest post office that I have ever seen. HUGE line. I wait there for nearly one hour.
I then realize that half of that queue was people in the same situation, they were told that they requested their packages to be held. None of them did.
The lady behind me was super anxious, she couldn't for the life of her keep 6 ft distance from me, nor wear her mask to cover her nose. That, plus her frequent loud exhalations due to her anxiety weren't helping... I patiently waited in line all the way to my turn.
Read 7 tweets
Go Away Profile picture
22 Nov 20
Dear developer, is your manager complaining that your code has too many bugs?

Demand a recount right now!
How can you explain that the first unit tests all passed and then all the integration tests started failing later, huh? HUH? TEST FRAUD, I SAY
You're only getting more bugs because we're doing way more tests than any other developer, that's why
Read 5 tweets
Go Away Profile picture
22 Nov 20
Funny thing happened to me this week:

I realized I was late for a meeting where I was supposed to do a presentation so I connected on Teams but I couldn't hear anything because a bunch of people were in my home office talking. So then I told them to get out, put the headphones
And then I could hear people from all over the world on the call, speaking English, Portuguese, Japanese, etc. They were a bit annoyed that I was late. But then my mic didn't work!

Then I remembered that I had another mic in a different room, so I went there.
But as soon as I walked out of my home office I realized it was directly connected to a corridor of a Microsoft building!

And then it hit me:

-WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS A DREAM, YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, BRAIN!

Then I woke up.

The end.
Read 4 tweets

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