“We need you to teach key workers’ children.”
“OK.”
“And set work for, & follow up, all children who’re supposed to be working remotely.”
“Right...”
“And 3-5 hours remote learning.”
“What’re YOU doing during this?”
“Given an extra £10k office costs to work from home. Why?”
“OK.”
“And set work for, & follow up, all children who’re supposed to be working remotely.”
“Right...”
“And 3-5 hours remote learning.”
“What’re YOU doing during this?”
“Given an extra £10k office costs to work from home. Why?”
https://twitter.com/bbcpolitics/status/1346811243710083072
“Mm hm. And what about the children at home who don’t have laptops or internet access, whom you promised you’d help?”
“We-ell. Money’s tight, you know...”
“Tell me again about those PPE contracts?”
“The £1.5 billion that went to Tory donors? What of them?”
“We-ell. Money’s tight, you know...”
“Tell me again about those PPE contracts?”
“The £1.5 billion that went to Tory donors? What of them?”
“I mean,” *gets out calculator* “that adds up to about... oh, about £170 per child in England & Wales.”
“So?”
“Say a third need help, that’s over £500 per child. Easily enough to buy laptops and—“
“Yes, yes. Anyway. Spot of lunch?”
“So?”
“Say a third need help, that’s over £500 per child. Easily enough to buy laptops and—“
“Yes, yes. Anyway. Spot of lunch?”
“Speaking of lunch,”
“Do you fancy the Châteauneuf-du-Pape?”
“Free school meals...”
“Oh, gosh, I remember my school’s spotted dick! It was a delight. I wonder if chef can—“
“Are you going to pay for those over Feb half term? And Easter?”
“Spotted dicks?” What on earth for?”
“Do you fancy the Châteauneuf-du-Pape?”
“Free school meals...”
“Oh, gosh, I remember my school’s spotted dick! It was a delight. I wonder if chef can—“
“Are you going to pay for those over Feb half term? And Easter?”
“Spotted dicks?” What on earth for?”
“N—no. Free school meals. For school children.”
“Good lord, no. Their parents can feed them.”
“But some parents can’t afford to, you see, because of, you know, global pandemic.”
“Nonsense! We have a furlough scheme!”
“Which 3 million people are completely excluded from...”
“Good lord, no. Their parents can feed them.”
“But some parents can’t afford to, you see, because of, you know, global pandemic.”
“Nonsense! We have a furlough scheme!”
“Which 3 million people are completely excluded from...”
“Yes. Well. Money’s tight. We can’t do EVERYTHING.”
“But you can give £1.8 million to Tory donors who voted Leave, to help them cope with Brexit disruption?”
“Oh good lord. Don’t start on Brexit. We’ve all had enough of that!”
“Mm.”
“Dessert wine with your spotted dick?”
“But you can give £1.8 million to Tory donors who voted Leave, to help them cope with Brexit disruption?”
“Oh good lord. Don’t start on Brexit. We’ve all had enough of that!”
“Mm.”
“Dessert wine with your spotted dick?”
@threadreaderapp unroll please
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