Welcome to life in 2021, where the lion’s share of what passes for political discourse consists of Explaining Extremely Obvious Things to People Who Refuse to Listen
- Joe Biden won the 2020 election. Any “fraud” detected was minimal, & did not affect the outcome in any state.

- Several states were not allowed to count mail-in ballots until the Election Day ballots were complete. They were not mysteriously “found” in the middle of the night.
- There was no valid evidence for fraud; just hearsay and viral rumors on the Internet.

- Despite 60 attempts to prove fraudulent behavior, none of Trump’s evidence was considered legitimate in a court of law.
- The public “hearings” held to make Trump’s case were not legally binding. There was no penalty for submitting false information. They had no purpose other than to sway the court of public opinion.
- Trump spent two months fighting tooth & nail to overturn the election

- After his lawsuits failed, Trump put pressure on state legislators to disregard their citizens’ vote at the polls
- The Electoral College cast their votes on December 14, confirming that Biden won the election.

- Trump remained angry, defiant & confrontational. He taunted GOP opponents as a “surrender caucus”, as if he were fighting a war against the American government to remain in power.
- Trump devoted supporters were fully anticipating a cataclysmic event on January 6th. They eagerly awaited “The Storm” or some other anti-democratic upheaval that would cast aside the Deep State & keep Trump in power.
- The purpose of Trump’s January 6th rally on the National Mall was to pressure Congress into rejecting the choice of the Electoral College.

⁃ Congress did not give Trump what he wanted, so his mob retaliated. Trump’s supporters stormed the Capitol in a blatant act of sedition.
- There were no Antifa interlopers at this rally; that is wishful thinking. Antifa is now a default GOP scapegoat.

- The property damage that happened at BLM rallies is in no way comparable to the deliberate insurrection of the U.S. Congress to overturn a Presidential election.
- Contrary to what many elected Republicans are saying, “dividing our country” is not the main problem we’ve had in the weeks since the election.

- Trump has been openly trying to overturn the election. If you bemoan those who “divide our country”, you’re making excuses for him.
- Twitter is not censoring conservative ideas. The only message that was consistently flagged & banned by Twitter is “The election was rigged & must be overturned”.

- There was no “conservative” basis for this belief; it was aggressive MAGA propaganda, and nothing more.
- Twitter also refused to link to a dubiously-sourced attack on Hunter Biden, published in the New York Post three weeks before the election. Despite what many Trump supporters would have you believe, “Destroy Hunter Biden at All Costs” is not a conservative idea per se.
- Any elected official who says they’ve never heard of QAnon is lying.

- The only political figures who say they’re not familiar with QAnon are Republicans who stand to gain the most from propagation of QAnon conspiracy theories. They are lying about it to evade responsibility.
- The people who endured four years of Donald Trump and still supported his re-election are the exact same people who believed he should have been allowed to overturn an election and seize the Presidency by force. There is no real distinction between these two categories.
- Nobody cancelled the Muppet Show. Disney Plus added a disclaimer to 18 episodes where the content has aged poorly after 40 years. You can still see them all.

- Nobody cancelled Dr. Seuss. His family’s publishing company has ceased to publish 6 older titles with racist images.
- The “Cancel Culture” boogeyman falls apart when you realize that there really is no target or organizing body for the broadsides against it. There isn’t anyone who decides who gets “cancelled”; it’s now just an umbrella term for negative public reaction to offensive behavior.
- Conservatives’ biggest problem with “Cancel Culture” is the critical reevaluation of things that they had previously considered acceptable

- If your reaction to such reevaluation is “But we considered that normal at the time!”, that may be part of the problem
- Mr. Potato Head has not been cancelled. You can still buy Mr. Potato Head and Mrs. Potato Head. The parent company is now simply called “Potato Head”.

- There are no tangible effects of this decision other than infecting Fox News acolytes with a terminal case of the vapors.

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More from @Dreamweasel

9 Apr
But is he up to the responsibility of making 60% of the country furious every day for four years
We’re never gonna see a Republican like Bush, McCain, or Romney again. The GOP might as well replace their goddamned elephant with an actual poop-flinging monkey.
CHARACTERISTICS OF GOP RISING STARS, POST-TRUMP:

- Don’t know jack about shit
- Make headlines for boldly ignorant sloganeering and/or smug putdowns
- “How triggered are the liberals” is primary measure of success
- Defended by wave after wave of Whataboutism on Fox News et. al
Read 4 tweets
6 Apr
1. Why was the “DRAKE” caption on his forehead needed; the tattoo was perfectly recognizable without it

2. Was Drake recently in an accident where he had a MEMENTO-style memory affliction

3. Was Drake cancelled for some reason
4. Did somebody who was desperate to hide their Drake tattoo imagine an enormous snail in its place and think “Eureka; the perfect crime!”

5. Who in history has ever had a giant snail tattooed on their body

6. Why not stamp “SNAIL” on its forehead so we don’t get the wrong idea
Read 4 tweets
28 Mar
Wake your spouse up at 6:00 AM and say "Honey, I'm pregnant!" This will be particularly effective if you are a man

#AprilFoolsPrankTips
At the grocery store, buy a box of Raisin Bran when you secretly wanted corn flakes

#AprilFoolsPrankTips
Tell people your cat's favorite color is orange when you secretly know her favorite color is green

#AprilFoolsPrankTips
Read 4 tweets
15 Mar
BILL BURR: (makes joke about feminism)

FEMINISTS:

BURR STANS: TRIGGERED!!! FEMINISTS CAN’T TAKE A JOKE!!!
It’s almost as if there were a subset of the population that took such pleasure in making liberals angry that their own wishful thinking rendered the actual reactions of liberals irrelevant Image
I can easily imagine a brand-new Turning Point USA podcast where the theme of the very first episode is “Look at How Much I Triggered the Liberals Last Time”.

Doesn’t matter if it’s true. “Triggerer of Liberals” is now the imagined status of all modern conservative commentators.
Read 4 tweets
11 Mar
Since I don’t know how sustainable my current employment situation is, I may be forced to change my user name to “EnormousWeasel_Defiant!” and have a go at doing this professionally
Joe Biden seems to know a bit more about American government than Donald Trump.

WHO’S WITH ME?

#EnormousWeasel_Defiant!
If you think treatment and prevention of the Coronavirus should be among our government’s top priorities, raise your hand ✋

#EnormousWeasel_Defiant
Read 5 tweets
27 Feb
Subjects Where I Suspect We’re Mainly Talking to Each Other:

- “The Big Lie”.

Most Republicans still don’t believe the election was fair.

- “Republican Civil War”.

January 6 notwithstanding, the GOP rank and file has not turned against Trump in any significant way.
The Republican Party still wants Trump. Failing that, they want a candidate who delivers as much of Trump’s agenda as possible:

1. More power to the cops
2. Guns, guns, guns
3. Defund PP / end abortion
4. Fight tooth & nail against LGBT normalization
5. Piss off the liberals
They see no contradiction in the party of Law and Order willfully turning a blind eye to sedition, insurrection, and abuse of power because none of them really view Trump’s offenses as an especially big deal. Certainly no worse than anything the Democrats have publicly supported.
Read 4 tweets

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