10 years ago today I was on bed rest at Mount Sinai Hospital, frantically trying to finish Les Misérables before the baby came and enduring small crowds of medical students learning what it feels like to do a cervical check on a lady who’s footling breech and quite dilated
(I remember one of them turning pale and saying “I can feel the baby’s toes!” I was like, that’s cool, but can you tell the lunch lady to bring me extra jello?)
I briefly went through a phase when I thought it would be a good idea to name the baby Marius
This was me the morning of my c-section, right before they asked me if I wanted to participate in a clinical trial of a new medication. I was like “sure, why not!” My mom was like “excuse me, but what phase is it in? Is it double blind? We need details.”
At the end of it all they gave me this little crumple-faced, tiny-toed, Charles Darwin hairline-lookin’ dude to take home, so it was worth it
(His birthday isn’t til Sunday but I was on hospital bed rest for two weeks before that)

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More from @anne_theriault

12 Jan
I panic-bought a (needed) coat from a big chain store on the last day stores were open and they assured me over and over I could return it, then when I contacted them a few days later to ask about returning it (it’s not warm enough), they said I can’t return it til after lockdown
They have “no way of processing returns from in store purchases.” I asked why the sales associate hadn’t mentioned this when she said over and over that it could be refunded, and the person I was talking to said “well, maybe she didn’t know.”
Anyway. I’m obviously not gonna buy another coat until I get the refund, so at this point i’m just not going to get a new coat for the rest of the winter I guess!! I’ll just keep wearing the old one that doesn’t keep me warm! Was really trying to prepare for long winter walks.
Read 5 tweets
12 Jan
I just realized Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom) is in the new All Creatures Great and Small and now I’m even MORE excited (I did find a way to watch it, we’re going to watch tomorrow)
AND Diana Rigg and a dog named Derek
Absolutely thrilled about all these developments
Read 4 tweets
11 Jan
I’m not sure this chart shows what people think it shows? In most areas, it shows a steady increase since long before Christmas with no huge jump afterwards. Also the cellphone data counts anyone who went 500m from their postal code - I go for a daily walk a couple km from home
Also Toronto has been in “lockdown” since late November! Anyway. It’s frustrating when there seems to be a wilful misrepresentation of data to build a narrative that doesn’t reflect the reality that, as many people have reported, unsafe workplaces are driving infections
The article doesn’t even really seem to know what it’s arguing. Sometimes they blame “gatherings” (which were not allowed over the holidays, anyway, lockdown or no). Sometimes they blame torontonians travelling to do retail shopping. thestar.com/news/gta/2021/…
Read 4 tweets
11 Jan
Can you have a high-flying Manhattan career and a beautiful house in an idyllic bedroom community and be married to January Jones and experience the joy of travelling by train twice a day yet still be empty inside? What Mad Men presupposes is ... yes?
(What’s funny about Mad Men for me, personally, is that it does signify a Simpler Time for me in that I watched it right up until I had my kid and then didn’t see another episode for years)
(I made my grandmother, who was secretary in the 60s, watch it and she said “oh god, Annie, that’s EXACTLY what it was like. I WAS Joan!” Then clarified she never cheated on my grandfather with her silver fox boss, in case I was worried (I was not)
Read 4 tweets
10 Jan
Your regular reminder that the Ontario government has had months to prepare for a difficult second wave and nearly a year to prepare for another mass transition to online learning, but instead of doing that they would rather download guilt onto parents and teachers
I just feel like I’m in a fog at this point. Online school where everyone is scrambling? Not getting any work done? Everyone stressed, including kids? I transcend, I do not worry, until I come downstairs and my child is very obviously not following directions then it all crashes
I was happy they moved schools back online because of increasing cases (and I say this as someone who advocated for in-person school when numbers were low). First three days were great until I remember, haha, these fuckin clowns (the government) haven’t planned for shit
Read 4 tweets
21 Dec 20
I don’t know if I will articulate this quite right, but sometimes I think we place so much thought in what future selves will think of us (“what will the history books say about 2020?”) and not much about past selves. I know, it sounds silly, but hear me out.
Imagine telling an ancestor about this year, about how much we were able to do to prevent and protect. There are anti-masker, anti-science villains, of course, but they’re the outliers; most of it would astonish them. So much of this year has been acts of love and sacrifice.
Sometimes I think that gets lost because the awful stuff makes for more compelling news. Of course it does! But people from historical pandemics would, I think, mostly be astonished at what the average person has been capable of doing thanks to technology, science, etc
Read 4 tweets

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