I just saw a thread about foster care, which did not paint an accurate picture of why children are removed, foster parent "salary", etc.

As a foster parent I have a few words about the experience.

Content and trigger warning, there will be talk of severe child abuse.

First, I want to talk about motivation for fostering.

Different people are motivated differently, so I can only speak for my family.

We originally wanted to adopt children because we can't have our own.

While researching adoption, we learned about fostering.

We felt we had room in our lives to take in kids who needed a place to go. So we shifted our focus.

Since then we have had several children come and go. Each situation was different, and I will get to that.

Regarding the "salary" we get: there is no salary.

We do receive money to cover some of the costs we incur, like paying for medical care, buying them clothes, etc.

It is not anywhere near the quoted $39K.

All told, we generally end up going out of pocket to cover all expenses.

We take kids under 3, and as any parent can tell you, diapers, clothes, food, formula, various medical costs... It all adds up really fast.

So when the kids return to their families, do we believe the funds should follow them? Absolutely!

I repeat, kids are expensive, especially the ones who come to us.

CW / child abuse, drugs, violence

So, why do kids come to us? Frankly, because they are in danger of dying.

A case came in where one of the kids in the house was beaten so badly they suffered permanent brain damage.

The parents were convicted of attempted murder.

CW / child abuse, neglect

Another case, a toddler was left alone in a hotel room without food or water, and was discovered alone, dirty, hungry, and dehydrated.

CW / child abuse, drugs

The most common reason kids come to us is because they are born addicted to drugs. They require hospitalization, and then months of treatment with methadone.

It's common that they are born, and abandoned at the hospital.

These cases are not simply poverty. Most of the children we have had come through have returned to family members. They go to parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

Some kids don't return. The parents disappear, and the extended family doesn't have more room.

TW / child trauma

Now, regarding the system, nobody that is part of the foster system comes out unscathed.

Kids suffer the most. Some return again and again. Even the ones who don't return suffer trauma that will follow them forever.

Foster parents also suffer trauma. Seeing the things we see can change a person.

My wife's smile has changed. My outlook on the world is much darker.

Do all the stories look like ours? Probably not. But plenty do.

So the next time you think about shitting on foster families, I would urge you to remember this thread.


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More from @cm_stead

11 Jan
Because of the newest stupid shit Bob M*rtin is spouting, I'll be competely clear:


For reference... The first amendment of the constitution of the United States of America.

The important part:

"Congress shall make no law [...] abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."
Read 6 tweets

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