Cis people do feel like they own us. Family and parents especially, but also complete strangers who clutch pearls over losing trans men's "beautiful breasts" and "fertility" or trans women "attempting to steal womanhood" from them, like it has anything to do with them at all.
I'm fortunate that my friends and extended family were generally supportive and asked sympathetic, intelligent questions even as my immediate family either shunned me, ignored me, or were openly contemptuous.
Twenty years on, my parents still don't understand how lifelong this was for me or how their bigotry and abuse scared me into staying in the closet or that they bear any blame or responsibility for that at all.

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More from @Gwynnion

14 Jan
Whenever something bad happens, people talk about passing a raft of new laws to stop it when the problem is law enforcement actively ignores the laws we already have to address these problems, especially when the perpetrators are white and/or rich.
The problem is not a lack of laws, it's a lack of enforcement.
"More laws!" is a way of looking like they're doing something instead of addressing the elephant in the room, which is that more and more restrictive laws will only end up being weaponized against Black, poor, and other marginalized people.
Read 10 tweets
14 Jan
When Republicans whine about "liberal elitism," they're complaining that people oppose their white supremacy and other forms of bigotry.
When journalists do puff pieces on Republican voters, they're tacitly endorsing that same white supremacy and bigotry by treating it as a fanfare for the common man.
Certain ideas are bad and wrong and don't deserve to be given oxygen, but we're drowning in them because conservatives and the media keep sea lioning us with false equivalencies and "slippery slope" arguments.
Read 4 tweets
13 Jan
It's a hell of a thing to come out to your parents and be told, "we know, we don't approve," their voices dripping with disdain, and then have them pretend they were oblivious and it's all my fault for not telling them sooner.
My experience with coming out and transitioning was honestly pretty good compared to most, but my relationship with my parents is an exhausting brain-twister because of all the gaslighting.
My parents all but raised me as a girl. The difference from my brother is profound. But they terrorized me if i tried to express it. They said they knew I was trans before I came out which, fine, I wasn't trying too hard, but they also *didn't* know because I didn't tell them...
Read 6 tweets
13 Jan
White people, collectively, around the world have decided they don't like democracy and civilization if it means having to accept anyone different from them.
Listening to them, you can feel this undercurrent that they believe civilization peaked in the early 1960s when they could shrug off the rest of the world, culturally and economically, and non-whites, women, and queer people were severely oppressed and locked out of power.
They're all huffing the fumes of British empire or American superpower status or what have you.
Read 5 tweets
12 Jan
The disconnect between people's experiences is something I think about often in various contexts, but it's annoying that even my fairly liberal white and cis het friends in Texas tend to think I'm a bit "out there" politically and that my personal safety concerns are overwrought.
I'm in nowhere near as much danger as trans women of color, of course. But I know from experience violent transmisogyny and cissexism can rear its ugly head at a moment's notice, and even if it doesn't turn violent, how often doors get slammed in my face for it.
And white Texans really, really don't want to hear my opinion on their glorious state, its place in the Confederacy and Jim Crow, and all the Trump and Thin Blue Line fascist shit bubbling up beneath our feet.
Read 5 tweets
12 Jan
When I say Trump is not special, I mean his politics fall comfortably on a spectrum between neocons and Tea Party Republican and his preening reality TV persona and alternating gleeful and sulking narcissism are fairly typical for that type of conservative.
Trump's only innovation was to unapologetically say the quiet part out loud and get away with it, bringing the GOP's racism, misogyny, and desire for white supremacist, monarchal rule to the forefront, but Republicans and the media were eager to enable him from the start.
It could have been anyone, though. You can see guys like Jim Jordan and even Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham wish they'd done it first. Because the GOP and their rabid white supremacist base were fully primed for someone to come along and say and do what Trump did.
Read 9 tweets

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