CNC is by far one of the most common sexual fantasies people have, especially women. Since chemically in the brain arousal is arousal, it makes very little distinction between fear and sex.
That's never going to go away, so the only sane response is harm reduction+safety
That's never going to go away, so the only sane response is harm reduction+safety
In practice this means playing with people who you trust, using safe words and providing after care.
A LOT of sexual assault survivors have this fantasy, so those people need to take things slower and take extra care to avoid accidentally using it as a form of self harm.
A LOT of sexual assault survivors have this fantasy, so those people need to take things slower and take extra care to avoid accidentally using it as a form of self harm.
We live in a culture that has a poor understanding of boundaries. The shorthand for this is rape culture.
If you're posting CNC content, TAG YOUR SHIT. People who don't want to engage with that kind of content should be free to avoid it.
If you're posting CNC content, TAG YOUR SHIT. People who don't want to engage with that kind of content should be free to avoid it.
The best way to combat rape culture is to gain literacy on consent. There are two main type of consent, explicit consent is the one you see people pushing for.
Explicit consent is a clear, verbal, enthusiastic YES. Free from coercion and pressure, made by people ABLE to consent.
Explicit consent is a clear, verbal, enthusiastic YES. Free from coercion and pressure, made by people ABLE to consent.
There is also implicit consent. It doesnt get talked about as much because it requires nuance to execute safely. In some close relationships, consent for certain things has already been established. Do you need to ask EVERY time you hug your best friend or your mom? Probably not!
If I'm in a sexual relationship for example, it's well established that I'm okay with any and all touch at almost all times. Your boundaries are probably different, and that's very important to think about.
Be clear AND SPECIFIC with yourself what your own boundaries are
Be clear AND SPECIFIC with yourself what your own boundaries are
Another component of consent is capacity. Lots of things can impact a persons capability for consent, like age, level of consciousness, mental/emotional states, as well as altered states of consciousness caused by drugs and alcohol.
Children and animals cannot understand the complexity involved in giving consent, and are preset for obedience to authority...so they cannot give consent free from coercion.
For other states remember that consent capacity is a spectrum, often not a clear ON/OFF
For other states remember that consent capacity is a spectrum, often not a clear ON/OFF
People with mental illnesses like PTSD, bipolar and beyond may have impaired capacity sometimes due to extreme emotional states. People who experience dissociation or catatonia in particular can deal with confusing varying consent capacity. Communication is VERY important here.
Many consent advocates will tell you that drunk/high people are 100% unable to consent. This can be very othering to people who enjoy sexual activity while impaired.
The key is clear communication about what you're okay with and with whom BEFORE enjoying sex with psychoactives.
The key is clear communication about what you're okay with and with whom BEFORE enjoying sex with psychoactives.
I did an 8 hour consent for leadership workshop with consent.academy and their website is excellent for additional details and resources on the subject.
They also have a book available that I cannot recommend enough!
They also have a book available that I cannot recommend enough!
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