Thread by @daraciousdara

Hi guys, how was church today?

As promised, I'm here for the thread on 'To Test or not to Test before Marriage - Sexual compatibility.

This is directed at believers (Jesus Christ believers) but can also be applied generally.

To be clear, I am a single lady and don't have expert opinion on the art of sex (nobody should come for lecture) but I have wisdom concerning what God would want.
How do I know my spouse will satisfy me sexually....

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..is a very valid question to ask as a believer when choosing a life partner because life is too short not to quench sexual tensions in marriage.

Media has also not helped in the stories we hear of how one sister regrets not testing the waters before marriage and many more.
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There are a few things I will like to clear.

First, marriage is not All about sex. Satisfying sex is great but it's not the life and soul of your marriage.

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You should check that you are compatible with the person you have chosen in all areas and how do you do this? By asking QUESTIONS and OBSERVING.

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Let's talk about sex for a moment. Media has painted this picture of what sex should be like. It feels like it's an act that is always perfect, takes you to estasy everytime without practice. Like you were born with this special ability to satisfy your soul mate sexually.

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Announcement! It's a COMPLETE LIE.

Married people please help me out. Was sex after marriage perfect? Sexually pleasing your partner requires work, practise and understanding of what pleases that person and what doesn't but that's not the discuss for today.

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Back to my gist.

Who do you trust to help you pick the right partner? God? Yourself? If God, then do you trust that He has your best interest at heart (of which sexual fulfilment is one of?) And that he won't lead you into a ditch?

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If yes, then follow his leading and also be obedient to his written word.
Let me ask a question. If you say you love this man/woman you intend to marry and you have the peace of God concerning this, will your first sexual encounter....

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....determine whether or not you will continue in the relationship?

As you can tell, one sexual encounter is not enough to determine compatibility as you went on several dates, had numerous conversations to determine that you like/love this person.

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You didn't make that decision based on one encounter.

I know you're asking, so HOW DO I DETERMINE SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY if I'm not supposed to TEST before marriage (make I no enter one chance)?

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Ask questions. Lots of questions.
Not questions on how long you last in bed, slow or fast rider type of questions (it won't help you).

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Scenario questions would help.

The willingness of your partner to satisfy you is more important than the actual skills he/she may currently have.

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Also note that you really don't know what sexual fulfilment will be to you until you are having constant sex and it also changes as you grow older, exposed to more information and experience life.

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Sexual satisfaction is not a constant and choosing a spouse based on how good your sexual encounters before marriage is NOT a guarantee that things will always remain that way.

I hope this helps.
God has blessed you.

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