Thread by @WilcoxNMP

1. A kind of “Me-First Marriage”—where marriage was seen as a vehicle for happiness, individual fulfillment & self-actualization—reached its zenith in the late 20th c. Many people thought marriage was just abt enjoying the peaks of “Mt. Maslow,” to take @EliJFinkel’s metaphor.👇🏼

2. Many assumed marriage’s other classic functions—mutual aid, financial stability, extending/receiving care to/from kin, & the education/support/care of children—could be handled to an imp. extent by state & market. Leaving men & women to pursue more indiv. model of marriage.

3. But growing social and economic inequality, economic precarity, political & social instability, and the hollowing out of so many of our civic and public institutions mean that a more “Family-First” model of marriage is re-emerging in the 21st century.

4. Married people are coming to see how much their kids depend upon them keeping things together, as this George Packer in @TheAtlantic noted:

5. They have some tacit or explicit knowledge their housing, 401(k), retirement, medical care, etc. will be better if they treat their parents, spouse & kids well. And this seems to be truer by moment as other sources of social/econ solidarity weaken... today.com/money/why-marr…

6. So as other sources of social & economic & political solidarity erode, marriage is moving away from “Me-First” to “Family-First” model, and reappropriating elements of what @EliJFinkel calls “institutional” and “companionate” marriage in his “Mt Maslow” model.👇🏼

7. COVID fallout has reinforced the move to a “Family-First” model of marriage, where marriage is @ much more than “Me”; it’s about

- Caring (educating) kids
- Giving/Receiving kin care
- Mutual aid
- Financial stability

As I argued in @WSJ
wsj.com/articles/marri… @garyrosenWSJ

8. In U.S., one sign of this is *divorce is down* in 2020, building on earlier declines in divorce, as @lymanstoneky & I note👇🏼. Bigger point: Growing marital stability is one sign that people are viewing marriage as a more imp source of social stability: washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/…

9. Globally, new @pewresearch indicates the countries most affected by COVID—Italy, US, UK, Spain, etc—are also the ones that have also seen ⬆️ in family solidarity. Tough times can make people turn towards kin.

10. So, in the US, for those marrying & having children today, I think COVID is reinforcing a tendency to cast aside the “Me-First” (soulmate-y) model of marriage in favor of a more “Family-First” model of marriage that ⬆️the spouse, kin & esp. kids. ifstudies.org/blog/covid-19-…