It's great to be asked if you have extended health insurance before a medication or treatment is prescribed but also like devastating to be like "yes I have been un/der-employed for months and am trying to find work after leaving academia, no I don't have extended health"
I'm already on medication that I'm taking a lower dose of mostly so that I don't have to spend 100$ a week on it (it also seems that the lower dose is fine for now) but TROLOLOL what is life
"And hopefully next time we check in you will have full-time employment with benefits!" well actually that optimism about the job market is charming, I'm just considering going back to school so that I can have student extended health benefits, but okay
I mean if I go back to school then I can also re-train to do something else/get more skills but also I can get that sweet sweet Pacific Blue Cross or Greenshield life again
I'm currently doing some freelance work and am upgrading my skills so that I can do more research scientist work in health outcomes, but that's just taking time (including the time that is getting work experience at the moment)
Anyway, it's all good. I just had a moment of feeling very....something about academia, because honestly, a (theoretically) forever-job with benefits is a big fucking deal.
Healthcare access tied to employment is ableist garbage, that's the Tweet!
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I am finally on the proper medications, 19 years after I first started getting sick. I can breathe properly. I can eat without my throat swelling up, or my blood pressure plummeting. I can exercise and my heart rate stays in a normal range. And yet I cannot say how angry I am.
I cannot say how angry I am to have been told to just wait for things to get better. Or to have been scolded for pointing out frank diagnostic errors. To have been told that sometimes you must just accept that "life just sucks."
I cannot believe how much my precious time was wasted by not being taken seriously. I am still trying to piece it all together, but...fuck, you know? That I was stubborn enough to not let doctors just abandon me to their own lack of curiosity and care.