Great Caesar's Ghost! Claimed this from a little street library today. Who else remembers the #cooperkids series by Frank Peretti? God this book terrified me, but I think my mother thought she was doing good by reading us Christian Fiction as kids. I feel a book review coming on. The Frank Peretti book &quo...
The question is, will it be as racist and sexist as I now recall? Exactly how inappropriate is it for the recommended age of 10-14 years? Is this book the reason I was terrified of demonic activity for the following 2 decades... let's find out.
Ooh. The blurb promises this: "A rip-roaring yarn filled with danger and intrigue, ending with a titanic clash between the forces of good and evil." Nothing wrong with good v evil trope. But we were taught that THIS. WAS. PLAUSIBLE. '
And by 'this' I mean powerful demonic activity which, to paraphrase the blurb, is an ancient evil lurking force that has caused the deaths of many other exploration parties. We thought, "yep, this totally checks out" 😅
I was going to @ Frank Peretti because I have QUESTIONS. But he hasn't posted on Twitter for like 10 years and is now 70 years old. He was 34 years old when this book was published 😳
Ok so, maybe I should see what I can remember of the story before I crack it open. Bear in mind, I was probably about 12 when I red this last (so, 25 years ago). But the pre-adolescent mind often retains such information...
My remembered synopsis: two teenagers, Jay and Lila, accompany their father on dangerous expeditions because their mother is dead (?) and well, Dad's gotta keep the coins rolling in. I think he was some kind of Christian Archaeologist or Anthropologist?
I do feel like Frank Peretti may have wildly exaggerated the amount of danger archaeologists encounter on a regular basis. But maybe Christian Archaeologists™️ do? I feel like there is a thread to unravel here about science denialism, but I'm meant to be providing a synopsis...
Basically, the Cooper family goes to some middle eastern country, there's some casual racism, they are investigating a site where many people have died trying to find treasure in a cave. I mean, why WOULDN'T you bring your kids, as long as you take your bible, right? ...
I feel like their may be a point in the story where Dr Cooper (I think he was a doctor?) brings out a bible to vanquish some invisible evil force or something... we'll see. I remember there was an *evil shaman*, and a *greedy mercenary*, because Middle East, of course.
My recollection of the rest of the story is pretty hazy, but I have a vague memory of being disappointed that there was nothing behind the door except for vague spiritual forces. I feel like it ended with a cave-in and a rescue, and a swift departure from the *Evil Middle East*.
OK FOLKS. CHAPTER ONE. Here we go.
WAIT: There's a dedication. "To the kids at Cedar Springs Camp, 1983". Y'all, this is the year I was born. Frank was in his early 30s, and I'm assuming some kind of youth leader? I have questions! Did he tell spooky Christian ghost stories around the camp fire? We'll never know.
Ok, now chapter One. Oh God the opening sentence is a doozy. I feel like this review could easily end up being a sentence by sentence break down which is gonna be long haul. I'm gonna try not to fixate, but I have to share this opening line...
"In the arid and strife-torn Middle East, land of Bible adventures, wars, camels, and kings, in the tiny, secluded, and landlocked nation of Nepur, a nation known for its strange customs and ancient mysteries, pompous President Al-Dallam, Chief Magistrate and Bearer of..." cont
...the Royal Sceptre, sat and fidgeted at his huge marble desk in the Presidential palace." Oof.
Ok, our setting is a made-up nation, somewhere in the middle east. We have some kind of dictator (or is he a magistrate or is he a king? So hard to know) who I assume is going to be an antagonist based on his description as a turbaned man with many rings who desires more $$$
Our next introduction is Gozan, described as "a bearded, rugged, desert rat of a man" who wears a big straw hat and has a raspy voice 🤷 we are really checking off these stereotypes. He's portrayed as dirty and snivelling, which makes me wonder...
WHY does this dirty common man have access to the Presidential Palace, and the inner chamber of the President no less. (PS the President Al-Dallam is ALSO AN OIL SHEIK because of course its the Middle East. Duh).
Anyway, Gozan has come to tell Al-Dallam that Dr Cooper's expedition has arrived. Al-Dallam is incensed when he learns that Cooper has an entourage of only 3 workers plus his 2 children.
"The president looked intently at Gozan with an expression he usually saved for decreeing death sentences." WHAT. I feel like we need to take a shot every time there is a tropey "because Middle East" reference. I will now just say "DRINK".
We now learn that Cooper et al have been summoned on some mysterious task involving entering The Dragon's Throat, and opening The Door. A task at which many armies and expeditions have failed before. Ahhh... but the Coopers are different. Let's learn why, shall we?
Apparently other explorers have "claimed to be Christians" says Gozan. He scoffs at Christians! Aaah, persecution and scorn from the brown man #DRINK
"Yes but these people are different" days Al-Dallam. "They hold a very deep belief in their God.... they derive some kind of power from this deity." OH LORD. Now we are comparing kinds of Christians. The ones who have sulernatural power, and the ones who don't. Lovely.
And we finally learn that Al-Dallam believes there's treasure behind the door, and he demands that Gozan accompany the Coopers on their expedition. Gozan is shitting himself. End scene.
Now we meet the Coopers at the airport. Dr Jake Cooper (I'll call him Coop) is "handsome, rugged, tall, and strong, with blonde hair" ooh hey boo 😉 Did Peretti know that mums would be reading this to their kids? Was Coop modelled on Peretti himself?? You tell me. Read alt text😂 A picture of Frank Peretti....
Next we meet Jay and Lila Cooper, 14 and 13 respectively. And apparently "highly trained" 🤷 In what, I hear you ask! IN TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES 🤘
Jay is older and 'very firm in build'. His favourite toys are the "seismometer, the sonar, some CASES OF DYNAMITE and plastic explosives" while Lila is literally taking the place of her dead mother, as "technician, organiser, and nurse".
Oh and Lila is also, at age 13, in charge of food and provisions, and medical supplies. Guess Lila can't get hurt or die!
After lots more scene-setting involving unflattering descriptions of the Middle East and its people we get this golden nugget from Coop: Everyone be in a state of caution. The Nepurians are an unusually superstitious people. Not even Islam has taken a very strong hold here"
Gozan arrives at the airport in a cloud of desert dust (drink) in his Jeep and is introduced to Coop's technicians: BILL, JEFF and TOM. Good strong silent American men. Not to be confused with mysterious brown people of indeterminate religion who could pounce on us at any moment.
Gozan wants the Coopers to stay in the city at a comfortable hotel, the Coopers want to stay at the site and camp. Gozan is incredulous, insists the curse of the Dragons Throat is real, and here we get our first didactic sermonising from Coop:
"..we serve a mighty God who is greater than any curse, and His Son [capitalised, of course] died to free us from all curses." Ahh, sexy, rugged, and spiritual Jake Cooper. Sigh.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not denying the possibility of the existence of a powerful God. But I'm not sure Jesus died so that Christian Archaelogists™️ could march into ancient burial sites with their big Christian boots and dynamite. Also I don't believe in curses 😬🤷
Gosh. This is going to be an epic journey. Do I have what it takes? Probably not. Will I surprise myself by finishing this project? Also likely not. Break time for me, you fools! Maybe I'll be back.
Shall we continue? Yes! Gozan, Coop and his entourage head off, caravan-style across the desert to scope out the Dragon's Throat during the non-demonic daylight hours. They are followed by crowds of curious onlookers in a range of rickety vehicles because Middle East. Drink.
Thanks to Gozy, we learn that the menagerie of onlookers is hoping to either see the treasure that will enrich their country (sure, Jan) OR TO SEE THE MAD AMERICANS DIE. "I don't intend to die" says Coop, evangelically.
After a page of description about the desolate Dangerous Middle Eastern Desert Landscape, we arrive at the Dragon's Throat, which is basically a big-ass hole in ground, surrounded by a mile wide circular area of completely barren land. Curses abound, Gozy says. Coop gets bible-y:
"Nepur is not far from the location of ancient Babylon, the ancient kingdom of Nimrod mentioned in the Bible-- Genesis Chapter 10" He stops short of providing verses.
So, Coop reckons Nimrod buried some treasure, but he cares more about the "wealth of KNOWLEDGE hidden here, new information on the early history of man right after the days of Noah" Good Christian Archaeologist™️, have a biscuit.
Gozy postulates that maybe there is treasure and - sure - Bible-y Knowledge, IF Coop can open the door. Where is the door? Somewhere down in the Dragon's Throat. But few have lived to share any information about where, or why. It's CURSED!
Coop asks his kids' opinion on this curse. "Our God is greater" shrugs 14 year old Jay with evangelical nonchalance. Lila remains silent. She is probably planning what they will have for dinner and thinking about Proverbs 31.
They continue down the rocky dunescape, dodging vipers, and arrive at the edge of the barren circle. Coop notes that nothing lives inside the sandy ring, he runs some instrumentation, then sends his kids off with walkie talkies around the snake-infested perimeter. Of course.
"Report anything that could be a clue" Coop tells the 13 and 14-year-old highly-trained Christian Archaeologists™️
We learn that Lila crushed a scorpion and Jay threw some rocks at lizards - BOYS WILL BE BOYS AMIRIGHT.
Suddenly, Jay and Lila, alone in the desert, encounter a strange elderly man, robed and bearded, carrying a staff. "Are you for us or against us?" Shouts Jay. (Peretti provides exposition: "the question sounded scriptural, and that gave Jay a little courage" 😳)
Pause: this is exactly my experience of Evangelicals, then and now. If something sounds vaguely scriptural, it must therefore have power and truth and comfort. Gosh.
The old man speaks: "Americans--- Christians---heed my warning! ...Do not open the door! Only unspeakable evil and death await you!" Then the wrinkled leathery apparition vanishes into the desert dust (drank!) leaving Jay & Lila staring silently into the eyes of deadly King Cobra
The chapter closes as the walkie talkie squeaks out with the voice of Coop checking on his silent and terrified children, who he has sent to their certain death... haha stop it of course not! The bible says snakes won't harm us, silly billies! End Scene.
So that's the end of Chapter 1. I just checked to see how many chapters. If I told you to guess how many chapters, would you say 7? Because it's 7. There are 7 chapters in this very spiritual children's adventure chapter book, because 7 is a holy perfect number.
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