Thread by @AndiEwington

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian: loves rough sports and formal occasions. Rages at anyone who hates pink.

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue: brazenly walking off with someone’s backpack while maintaining an ‘18’ Charisma...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric: Never been wounded in battle, nor ever been laid. Able to hold 3000 pieces of gold in their pockets without an encumbrance penalty...

Catwalk D&D group:

Monk: BEWARE THE UNEXPECTED REACH OF THE LEGS! Unable to sneak due to the accordion-like sound accompanying every step...

Catwalk D&D group:

Warlock: permanently wears a protection from evil ward on their person which protects their vital organs from their unholy pact, but not their nuts...

Catwalk D&D group:

Wizard: never seen without their magical Cloak of Colour Spray, even though it always blinds the rest of the party without fail...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid: squeezed hard by a Frost Giant’s fist and never been the same since...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger: determined to hide in a ‘bush’ regardless of where they are.

Catwalk D&D group:

Necromancer: lost a hand in a tavern fight, replaced it with an Ogre’s hand after casting ‘Animate Dead’ on it...

Catwalk D&D group:

Bard: ready to seduce the next monster encounter with sweet, sweet piano music...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin: tempted to break their alignment, lately seen wearing a lot of black armour...

Catwalk D&D group:

Fighter: determined to find the missing chest piece that will complete their platemail armour bonus...

Catwalk D&D group:

Sorcerer: really wishing they asked for a less annoying familiar...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): still angry with the wizard for casting ‘Growth’ on their favourite loincloth, but too stubborn to get rid of it...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): making sure this time they don’t run out of arrows for this adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Wizard (again): already cast ‘Expeditious Retreat’ and hasn’t even left the tavern yet...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): got into a argument with the Barbarian three weeks ago, but still wearing the door they were punched through as a result...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): great ‘Perception’, but likely to catch the eye of the local guard searching for them...

Catwalk D&D group:

Warlock (again): have cast ‘Eldritch Blast’ so many times they now need reinforced supports to hold up their arms...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid (again): tried to ‘wild-shape’ into a polar bear but threw a ‘1’...

Catwalk D&D group:

Bard (again): got rid of his instrument in favour of musical accordion arms...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin (again): loves wrestling (a lot) and baby oil (a lot), and always complains about the inclement weather (a lot)...

Catwalk D&D group:

Fighter (again): refuses to remove the dead pigeon which accidentally crashed into their face several adventures ago, because it makes them look like a Valkyrie...

Catwalk D&D group:

Bard (again): miscalculated the armour class of their favoured instrument, now unable to inspire anyone anymore...

Catwalk D&D group:

Necromancer (again): got into an ill-judged argument with a short-tempered Wizard, who subsequently cast ‘Fireball’ at their crotch...

Catwalk D&D group:

Sorcerer (again): always complains of being tired, wears their bedroll as armour...

Catwalk D&D group:

Warlock (again): has an ego problem, often alerts enemies to their position due to the sound of their immense head scraping on the sides of the dungeon wall...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): forced to wear a woollen horned ‘helm’ his gran knitted and pretty angry about it - will rage at anyone who mentions it, even in passing...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger: bad boy of the forest who longs for an underwater adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid (again): given a lobster as a ‘familiar’, but forced to keep it close to them incase the ever-hungry Barbarian tries to eat it again...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): just found out mid-adventure that they have a bit of leftover food stuck on their armour from breakfast...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian: furious with the Rogue for swapping his war paint and fur armour, for something he stole from a nearby travelling circus...

Catwalk D&D group:

Sorcerer (again): voted ‘most likely to burn down the tavern if left to their own devices’ by the rest of the adventuring party. A chronic insomniac who cannot get to sleep properly without their comfort ‘familiar’...

Catwalk D&D group:

Fighter (again): stubbornly wearing the defeated Giant's magical armour, even though it makes him look like a Halfling in oversized clothes...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): used his head one too many times to break through locked dungeon doors.

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): been dropping 'big' hints to the DM about a specific animal companion they want, really pissed off they haven't got it yet...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): frequently pickpockets at a distance while peaking through their fingers...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): dresses themselves as a giant mace so they can ‘smite’ unholy monsters simply by running straight into them...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue: got caught stealing from the Wizard, now permanently wears Snilloc's Snowball Swarm as a consequence...

Catwalk D&D group:

Monk (again): rueing the fact they have an ‘18’ Strength and always end up being the one carrying the unconscious Wizard out of the dungeon...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid (again): got stuck inside a Gelatinous Cube, but learning to live with it...

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Catwalk D&D group:

Wizard (again): swearing blind their ‘Helm of Flight’ will work, and willing to jump off a high cliff to prove it...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid (again): angry with the Necromancer for casting ‘Mirror Image’ on her, only to cut off her duplicate’s head so he could cast ‘Animate Dead’ on it. Now forced to carry around her equally pissed-off lookalike noggin...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): feels a little conspicuous walking around town with their recently purloined ‘Necklace of Pickpocketing’...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): has a cunning plan to avoid unnecessary foraging for healing herbs mid-adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Bard (again): got really drunk in the tavern last night, now wearing the clothes of four different NPCs...

Catwalk D&D group:

Wizard (again): refusing to cast anything other than ‘Globe of Invulnerability’ on themselves...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin (again): was dressed by his mum, but too polite to complain...

Catwalk D&D group:

Fighter (again): tried to hide behind their shield to avoid a Wizard’s ‘Fireball’ spell... was too slow...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again) brought their own rail and curtains on the adventure to hide behind...

Catwalk D&D group:

Necromancer (again): wears the reanimated heads of his ex-adventuring companions on his cloak, often heard getting into heated arguments with them about his choice of current ‘living’ adventuring companions...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): once escaped a Gelatinous Cube by eating it, never got over the shame...

Catwalk D&D group:

Elven Ranger: REALLY wants be a Gnome illusionist...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): soiled themselves after a really bad experience in a high-level dungeon, now has a penalty to any future Dexterity rolls...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again) got ‘Polymorphed’ (by the Wizard) into a set of steps after getting stuck in one pitfall trap too many...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again) had their arms encased in blocks of ice by their deity as punishment for stealing from the temple’s collection plate - but now permanently wields two +5 frozen maces...

Catwalk D&D group:

Sorcerer (again): got eaten by a Beholder, but not letting that get in the way of the adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Wizard (again): wasn’t sure what hat to wear for this adventure, so brought all of them along for the ride...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): backstabbed their own grandmother just so they could steal the magical armour she was lovingly knitting...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): raging about going on an aquatic adventure with the rest of the party AND being the only one needing to wear inflatable armour...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin (again): never included in group hugs anymore after accidentally impaling the Druid...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): has the quest-orb and a cunning plan to escape the adventure-set island involving a stolen pair of Water-walking boots...

Catwalk D&D group

Bard (again): that time the annoying show-off insisted on wearing a stage entrance and singing their own entrance theme tune for the entire adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Warlock (again): wearing the remains of the last Gelatinous Cube and Black Ooze they slew for their next dungeon romp...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): took A LOT of cold damage on their last adventure, not making that mistake again...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin (again): lamenting their decision not to repair their armour before embarking on the next adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid (again): not completely happy about being asked to be the bait that lures the dragon out of its lair...

Catwalk D&D group:

Necromancer (again): ‘accidentally’ killed the Barbarian’s favourite horse, now praying the short-tempered warrior doesn’t notice...

Catwalk D&D group:

Sorcerer (again): NOT happy with the Wizard in the group for fluffing their ‘Fireball’ spell not once, but THREE TIMES!

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): never quite been the same since passing through the digestive tract of a White Dragon...

Catwalk D&D Group:

Fighter (again): gained a big Strength bonus from his new armour, but now a target for every backstabbing-loving Rogue in town...

Catwalk D&D group:

Monk (again): now 20th level and coming back to pay you a little ‘visit’ for all those years of mocking their ‘unarmed combat’ skills...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid (again): summons animal companions purely to ventilate the fart smell from his robes...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin (again): frivolously wearing any type of armour that gives them the best defence bonus while annoying the hell out of the OCDs in the party...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): will use their Holy Hand-grenade as a last resort...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid (again): been forced to create their own rudimentary PPE gear so they can spend less time washing the blood from their white robes; spilt by the foes vanquished by the pumped-up-and-rage-filled Barbarian...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): carrying their ‘Bag of Holy Smite’ into battle...

Catwalk D&D group:

Warlock (again): failing their ‘Perception’ and accidentally wearing a mimic on the adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Warlock (again): summoned the ‘Great Old One’ so they could wear the disbelieving patron as armour...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): still stuck inside a Gelatinous Cube from the last adventure, asked the rest of the party not to mention it...

Catwalk D&D group:

Druid (again): was left hanging from a chasm by their fingertips for way too long, now avoids making eye-contact with the rest of the sniggering party...

Catwalk D&D group:

Monk (again): after complaining about the lack of armour for his character class, the Monk instantly regretted complaining so much when the DM gave them a suit of armour so heavy it stopped them from doing ‘anything’, let alone throw a punch...

Catwalk D&D group:

Bard (again): on reflection, the musical warrior may have misjudged taking the piss out of the Wizard for having a ‘Wotsits’ spell in their spellbook...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): the short-tempered warrior didn’t like how the Dwarven Fighter kept slowing down the party, but they didn’t like the Paladin’s dubious solution either...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): making sure their provisions last at least two adventures and stop any enemy sword blows...

Catwalk D&D group:

Dwarven Rogue: won’t make the painful mistake of stealing the Barbarian’s favourite Boots again...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): DM misheard her request for a ‘Poisonous Asp’ as an animal companion, hasn’t been happy since...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): rolled a ‘1’ for their ‘hide under the table’ roll, but refusing to let it ruin the rest of the adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): embarrassed after they fluffed their ‘rope climb’ roll, but now stubbornly digging their heels in, insisting they don’t need any help untangling the numerous knots...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): stole from the Wizard, got ‘Polymorphed’ into a roast chicken and left outside the Barbarian’s tent as a consequence...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric (again): failed their Saving Throw vs Petrification, except for their feet and head, which escaped unscathed...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): was half digested by a Gelatinous Cube before managing to tame the jelly-beast, now rides it around as their mount...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): been adventuring with the party for 5 years, but never been seen once...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin (again): finally found a helm that fits their mighty ego, still has problems navigating narrow corridors...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): still wearing the last dungeon door they smashed their way through...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): probably got enough bear companions now, but nobody in the group is brave enough to mention it...

Catwalk D&D group:

Bard (again): not letting a dungeon adventure get in the way of having some fun...

Catwalk D&D group:

Warlock (again): pestered the DM for some Warlock-friendly armour, not best pleased with their newly acquired sponge-mail...

Catwalk D&D group:

Necromancer (again): tried to ‘reanimate’ the Dwarven Fighter but didn’t realise they were only sleeping - subsequently took a shield to the head for their troubles...

Catwalk D&D group:

Warlock (again): survived the deadly blade trap in the previous room, even if their favourite robes didn’t...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): silently regretting their decision to swing swashbuckler-like from the chandelier...

Catwalk D&D group:

Fighter (again): narcissist of the group, wears their twisted iron throne as armour...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): wears the many skins of her favoured (dead) enemy...

Catwalk D&D group:

Sorcerer (again): annoying the rest of the group by wearing their ‘Coat of Many Elmo Things’...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again): refusing to remove the head of the Giant Bunny they slew and now wear proudly as a helm...

Catwalk D&D group:

Wizard (again): had the ‘brilliant’ idea for navigating the darkest of dungeons, wonders why they are always attacked first in monster encounters...

Catwalk D&D group:

Necromancer (again): not pleased with the Wizard for encasing them in ice, hoping to thaw out by the end of the adventure...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin (again): got blind drunk for the first time last night, woke up and started the adventure with their armour on back-to-front...

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian (again) hates, I mean REALLY HATES, the sun-hats the Druid wears-all of them...

Catwalk D&D group:

Monk (again): defeated a legendary Coconut Monster, now wears the slain beast as a warning to other Coconut Monsters...

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue (again): perplexed how he keeps on being identified as a ‘thief’ by the city guards...

Catwalk D&D group:

Paladin (again): nobly offered his ‘Breastplate of Cold Resistance’ to the Freezing Barbarian, immediately lamenting his decision after getting nipple frostbite...

Catwalk D&D group

Elven Cleric: was hit so hard on their head by a Giant’s Club, now a Half Elf...

Catwalk D&D group:

Ranger (again): never lived down the time they were nearly digested by a Gelatinous Ball...