Well, I finally sent my manuscript away today, which means I can put this wad of paper away in a drawer. I can honestly say I've done the very best I can at this very moment.

ID: A white hand holding a thick stack of paper. A white hand holding a larg...
I started working on the manuscript more intensely as the pandemic began, really to give myself something to wake up for, as all my work vanished. I can honestly say that I know why every full stop, comma and line break is exactly where it is.
Thank you to everyone who gave me notes on the poems - whether I took them on board or not, every note helped me know the poems better.
Most of the comments I got were perfectly sound, but a few were just plain weird, or ableist, or both. You can see a greatest hits of the ableist comments I received here
This is the last year I can enter schemes and prizes that are aimed at 'young' or 'new' writers. I know it's fundamentally absurd, but this time really feels like make or break.
Is there a term for those extreme post-submission jitters? Submitters remorse?

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More from @Inadarkwood

19 Feb
Can you imagine posting a trash take like this while 60% of the UK's Covid deaths are disabled people? Just say you care more about your holiday than disabled people's lives.
It's certainly been an...experience to find out just how many people value their trip to Spain more than my life
Can you imagine having the nerve to say that nondisabled people are being discriminated against in the pandemic, when disabled people make up a majority of Covid deaths, DNRs are still being issued, and we're being ignored in the vaccine rollout? Good lord
Read 5 tweets
19 Feb
Ever since the news came out last week that a majority of Covid deaths in the UK are disabled people, I've been able to think of little else. Despite making up less than 15% of the population, disabled people make up 60% of the UK's Covid deaths.
I've been wondering why I've been so desolate, sluggish, and unable to concentrate. Watching eugenics become casually mainstream might have something to do with it.
Disabled people in the UK have been living with a certain amount of background terror for over a decade now thanks to Tory rule. But I've never seen so many people say, on national platforms, that my life is expendable as much as right now. It's incredibly hard to take.
Read 10 tweets
18 Feb
How many disabled authors have won the Carnegie Medal, I hear you ask? Precisely one, as far as I can tell: Rosemary Sutcliff, in 1959. What makes it more enraging is plenty of nondisabled authors have won the award via their books about disabled characters. 🙃
Rosemary Sutcliff (1920 — 1992) wrote dozens of bestselling historical novels. Many of her books were set in Roman Britain. Her best known books now are The Eagle of the Ninth series and her retellings of the King Arthur legends.
I only found Sutcliff late last year. I tweeted about her, and a lot of people got in touch to let me know they loved her books as children, but didn't know she was disabled. I wondered why that is. My main theory of why this might be is...
Read 4 tweets
13 Feb
In case there was any doubt, DNR orders are still being imposed on disabled people. Someone just tweeted at me saying that 'it's hardly an immoral choice to make.' The fact that disabled deaths have been seen as acceptable or inevitable by so many is disgusting beyond words.
I genuinely don't have the energy to begin to unpack the many profound things wrong with this tweet

Read 5 tweets
12 Feb
Yesterday, it was revealed that 60% of Covid deaths in the UK were disabled people. The same day, Tory MP Charles Walker was on Channel 4 News, arguing that disabled people like me are acceptable losses. Disabled people in the UK are not fine. Check in on your disabled friends.
Meanwhile, almost everything in this earlier tweet of mine is still true. I repeat, disabled people are not okay.

Last month, Lord Sumption said on the BBC that disabled lives were 'less valuable' than others. I can't stress enough how normalised the narrative that disabled people are 'acceptable losses' has become.
Read 9 tweets
11 Feb
In 2008, Scope asked disabled children for their views on books. Here's what they had to say. To quote the kids, 'we think there should be more disabled people in books.'

youtube.com/v/x_7zLhaUoNI&…
Subtitles are in the video, but they're a bit difficult to read, as the video is 240p!
'I like this book because it shows a girl wearing splints, like me!'

'This boy has a wheelchair like me.'

'I like this book because there's a girl that has a hand splint in it.'

'This is like me in my wheelchair.'
Read 11 tweets

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