Thread by @SpaceWicca

Trying to be a balanced human being is like trying to bake a complicated French pastry with instructions that look like: "bake till done".

And you end up with either an undercooked or partially burned Joconde sponge for ~30 years because no one ever told you how to actually make a Joconde sponge correctly.

Life is basically the Technical Bake round from the The Great British/Canadian Bake off where you get a stupidly incomplete recipe for making something complicated like a Battenberg cake and then you get harshly judged on standards that you didn't even know existed.

Like...oh your Battenberg cake has incorrect number of layers and the jam isn't incorporated to stabilize the checkerboard structure....
Meanwhile me:...wait.....WHAT JAM?!...what is happening here?!
Clearly I have been binge watching baking shows to de-stress lol

You bake your ass off to make this gorgeous cake that you don't even get to eat & just get judged on & then get sent home to be sad about your cake. All I want life to be is a simple sheet cake that I share with my friends over tea while I laugh about how stupid filing taxes is.

Everyone who made cake is a winner because now you have cake. End of story.