Thread by @doctorow

I don't know about you, but I've been worried about Gwyneth Paltrow. We've had the plague for a year and the Paltrow-Industrial Complex hadn't shown up with any kind of wellness grift!

1/

Finally, we can breathe easy. As @BethMarieMole writes in @arstechnica, Paltrow has finally entered the covid profiteering racket, and she's going BIG, with a blog entry detailing the many ways you can shop your way out of long covid.

arstechnica.com/science/2021/0…

2/

Paltrow's post describes how she suffered covid "early on" and then heroically overcame long covid with chiropractic, a "plant-based" diet that's also fish-based (go fig), $102 worth of vitamins and supplements, and $60 "detox" powder.

3/

These aren't just health advice, of course - they're also products you can buy from Goop or via affiliate links that pay Paltrow a commission. Beyond that, Paltrow recommends hiking with $9,000 worth of specialized gear ($8600 of that is a gold necklace).

4/

As Mole points out, Paltrow also relates how she didn't see results straight away, which implies an answer to what her customers should do if her expensive remedies don't work - buy more and keep trying.

5/

Mole does the lord's work in dogging Paltrow's heels. Not only did she take to time to explain why you shouldn't squirt coffee up your asshole as recommended by Goop:

arstechnica.com/science/2018/0…

But she even reviewed Paltrow's unwatchable Netflix show:

arstechnica.com/science/2020/0…

6/

This work isn't just unpleasant, it's risky. Speaking as someone who's been threatened by Paltrow's vicious attack-lawyers for criticizing the ultra-wealthy alexjonesian nostrum-peddler, I can only imagine what Mole's inbox looks like.

eof/

ETA: here's an unrolled link to share and read, on my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog, pluralistic.net:

pluralistic.net/2021/02/21/pal…