Thread by @patricia_a_tay

A whyte, well known journalist from my hometown posted a series of posts about an interaction he had with his adopted Black daughter about the use of the n-word & rap music. What he shared and how he did it was highly problematic for multiple reasons. Centering himself,

tokenizing his daughter, saying it’s “not about race” and many other red flags were evident. He ultimately took down the posts at his daughters request only to come back and double down on his opinions by restating exactly what he just erased.

numerous individuals, in particular Black women (including myself), commented our concerns only to have that post with our knowledge, experiences, and emotional labor be erased. After doing so he posted AGAIN saying that he would no longer write about race for a while b/c

it was “too sensitive a topic” and he was only trying to spark a conversation and not make anyone mad.

The kicker?

The point he tried to drive home re: rap music was that Black woman deserve to be treated with more dignity.

And then he erased numerous Black women’s voices.

This, folks, is precisely how whyteness works.

He didn’t like his daughters music and didn’t appreciate her response to his opinions. Then decided to bring it to the public forum at her expense to gather as many pats on the back as he could for being a good, “colorblind” dad.

When he got more than he bargained for he shut it down.

He shut it down in the name of false humility and ego, to save face as the victim who was “simply trying to spark conversation” rather than confront the truth.

As per usual there were plenty of people showing up to defend his “good intentions” but I will not be one of them.

Not now. Not ever. Whyteness needs to be yanked out by its roots, instead, it continues to be coddled.

I ache for his daughter and wonder what, if any, fruit will actually be produced from his self-proclaimed time of silence.

Too many whyte people go silent to proclaim the stance of “listening & learning” with nothing ever changing.

I am constantly reminded of how hard it is for whytenes & whyte male patriarchy to accept and receive correction from Black women.

And then to be raising a Black woman adds a whole other layer.

It’s dangerous and I wonder how many even see it...

“Positive affirmations of whiteness are so widespread that the average white person doesn’t even notice them.” —Renni Eddo-Lodge, Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People about Race

Therein lies the danger.

Fin.