State officials: Schools can open on Monday! Yay! Schools are so important to a functional society!

School employees: Oh great! This must mean that the infection rate is down! We did it! We worked and sacrificed together as a society for the common good!
State official: Yes! We have gone from “unchecked spread” to “escalating spread,” What a success story! Yahoo!

School employees: …. Um…. okay, but it will be okay because employees will all get the vaccine before the schools open though, right?
State officials: Nope!

School employees: Alright, then that must mean that in the year we have been closed, new HVAC systems have been installed to reduce the risk of catching an airborne virus, …. Right?
State Officials: Nope! (Not unless you had a bake sale to pay for it. Haha!)

School Employees: Okay, well surely at least enough N95 respirator masks have been acquired for everyone that spends time in a public school building.
State officials: Nope! But remember that mask drive where the kids crafted homemade masks with the scraps from their grandma’s sewing baskets? Wear those! (Better wear two.)

SE: Wow. Geez. Will we have access to some kind of affordable health care in case we get sick?
State officials: Sure! You have the health plan you’ve always had!

School employees: You mean the one that has a $6500 deductible? The one we pay $12000 in premiums for? That one?
State officials: That's the one! But try not to miss too much work if you do get sick or you could be terminated and lose it. Stay safe! Maintain 6 feet of social distance! (when feasible).

School employees: Really? Who?...

Public: SOMEONE ELSE! YOU HAVE NO SPECIAL SKILLS! ANYONE CAN DO WHAT YOU DO! (To be fair, we have been screeching that one for years.)
School employees: But what about the mandatory lockdown drills where we pile the kids up in a closet and bar the door armed with a stapler and a three-hole-punch to fight off an armed intruder? How can we maintain social distance during that; or any kind of drill?
State officials: We did say “when feasible.” Geez, nitpick much?

Public: GET TO WORK!!!!!
School employees: But… we have been working all year; teaching over the hell that is Zoom class.
Public and State officials: We actually don’t care about the “education” portion of what you do as much as we value the “warehousing” and “babysitting” portion of what you do. (But we reserve the right to criticize how you do the “education” portion too, of course!)

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Sarah

Sarah Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!