Thread by @sometimesalight

So much truth here.

https://twitter.com/rakeshsatyal/status/1365036230983966723

I'll always advocate for knowing one's God-given limits, learning to say no, honoring the needs of body & spirit, but I'm increasingly convinced that self-care is a frame of radical individualism & can never replace community's responsibility to care for each member.

In this sense, self-care is a coping mechanism that happens when communities collapse. It's a necessary, but poor, substitute for the care we should receive from others.

ISTM that "self-care" can't be understood apart from larger social ethic of bootstrapping--you must care for yourself b/c you can't count on anyone else to care for you. It parallels loss of embodied communities of support: healthy family, broader kinship network, churches, etc.

Yesterday, someone from our new church community dropped off food after they'd heard of my aunt's passing. My daughter asked why they did this.

There's a lot embedded in her question that I can't fully go into (including growing up in pastor's family that was more often a source of care than object, but...) ANYWAY, I told her that this was what functioning, healthy communities did for its hurting members.

Please hear what I'm saying & what I'm not. Of course, we are called to steward our emotional, physical, & spiritual resources. We are limited creatures who must rest & honor the boundaries God has placed on us. We must live humbly & receive help.

But I think this is something slightly different from caring & nurturing. Care & nuture is what we extend & owe each other. In healthy community, someone else is looking out for us just as we are looking out for them.

And part of what healthy community will do is support you as you honor your limits. They will encourage you to rest, support that rest, equip & supply you w/ what you need to rest, etc. You will not be left alone in the work of caring.

But the frame is slightly different. Everyone is called to the work of caring, not just the hurting member. This frame also allows the hurting member freedom to serve other hurting members because the weight of caring for themselves is lifted.

It's really beautiful & ingenious. When it works, of course. There are many ways it can break down & we're left isolated again. But in the best case scenario, none of us would be asked or expected to care for ourselves.

(Going to stretch just a bit & say that the rise in identity politics is really a search for a community that cares. It is a symptom of deeper isolation & a individualistic culture that places weight of survival & flourishing on the individual.

And insofar as a particular aspect of identity has been source of rejection by community--insofar as one had been ostracized & abused rather than cared for--the only alternative is to seek out those who do understand & will care for you. Even if only on basis of shared pain.

But this, again, is a coping mechanism & only works until it doesn't. Better for all, that communities do the hard work of seeing & supporting hurting members. Of bearing each other's burdens & letting the struggles of one affect the whole.

Better that we witness to the gospel by becoming communities of care & support in a world that demands bootstrapping & radical individualism. Better that we become communities that say, "You are not alone. We will walk this road with you.")

Per the thread:

https://twitter.com/linzsports/status/1366502644752220160?s=20

Notice the language of "self-care" used as shorthand for getting basic rest & honoring human limits. When societies lose a sense of sabbath, they also lose mechanism & standard for caring for each other. Individuals have no choice but to advocate & look out for themselves.