Thread by @violincase

#100daysofpractice Day 58.

I’m at the studio today making a video, but I woke up this morning deep in my feelings.

(2) I talk about this a lot in masterclasses, but I don’t think I’ve ever shown it: For me, music is where I put my feelings. I bring my day with me into practice and performance. Especially performance. It’s one reason the pandemic has been soul wrenching for me.

(3) I clear myself out onstage, to a good end; that’s my outlet, that’s where I dive into the humanity of artistic connection. If I’m going through something, someone in the audience is going through it too, and I know the performance will connect with them.

(4) Authenticity is huge. You can’t fake authenticity. You can’t plan it. But it’s what makes a moment really mean something. I’m not exaggerating if I say that a moment can change someone’s life.

(5) Don’t worry! I’m writing this because I want to share something that I think is helpful for all of you practicers out there.

(6) Remember: Practice is not an exercise. It is where you define yourself to yourself. It is good to have a weird day and have someplace to put all of that. If you are running from yourself when you are practicing, you’ll get nowhere.

(7) Today, preparing for the video I’m making, I did a deep dive into Chausson. Thinking about Poème. Thinking about the composer, the world he lived in, the people he brought together, who he was as a person.

(8) I came across this quote from Chausson: "There are moments when I feel myself driven by a kind of feverish instinct, as if I had the presentiment of being unable to attain my goal, or of attaining it too late."

(9) Chausson died at 44, three years after he wrote Poème. He created a musical moment in that piece. He left a lasting legacy, a piece that is so deeply authentic, that expresses that quote in musical form.

(10) And then I calculated that he was exactly my current age when he wrote Poème.

(11) So today’s practice for me is about sitting with the moment. Feeling what I feel. Letting it speak in the music. Honoring the memory of Chausson. Memorializing him by playing the notes he wrote when he was 41 and carrying this work that I’m lucky to hold in my hands.