While we're still adjusting to this new pandemic world, one thing we've certainly learned is the answer to the media's favorite asinine question, “can women have it all?” The answer? That's a hard no.
Asking if women can "have it all" was already a stupid question, but with the pandemic, it's even more absurd. Last month, the Biden administration called the number of women leaving the workforce a national emergency.
By October of 2020, over two million women had left the workforce. Women lost more jobs than men, because they were more likely to work in restaurants, hair salons, or crowded bars teaching McLovin what it means to respect women.
In September of last year, as the school year started, we saw the real economic impact when more than 860,000 women dropped out of the workforce. That explains this new Rosie the Riveter slogan.
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Prior to the pandemic, Governor Cuomo faced persistent criticism for failing to raise taxes on the rich, his attempt to cut Medicaid, and his mismanagement of the subway system. But in the midst of COVID-19, the governor's approval ratings soared.
While Cuomo was taking a victory lap on daytime television, his administration was making some devastating mistakes. One of the governor's most controversial decisions was his March 2020 order requiring nursing homes to admit patients who had tested positive for COVID-19.
In addition to butting heads with his own health experts, Governor Cuomo has been competing with Slenderman-Mayor Bill De Blasio to see who's the bigger schmuck.
Republicans are investing millions in the runoffs, because they know Democrats are within striking distance of controlling the senate.
We CAN win if we show up. We can't just throw rocks through windows and hope our wishes come true. @IamSambee tried that. All she got was a restraining order from Benedict Cumberbatch.
Unfortunately, just like Sam at her court hearing with Benedict, Democrats tend to not show up for runoffs. Historically in Georgia, the number of voters between presidential elections and runoffs has declined upwards of 40%.
So what exactly are the Georgia runoffs? They sound like a gastrointestinal issue, as in "we ate an expired cobbler and got a bad case of the Georgia runoffs." But they're actually a tricky little way of keeping Black voters and their preferred candidates out of power.
The state's runoff law was proposed in 1963 by a segregationist named Denmark Groover, who was running for state representative and not, what you would think, a Norwegian DJ.
Groover noticed that Black voters were more likely to get behind a single candidate, while white voters divided their votes among several. By forcing the plurality winners into a rematch, Groover believed white voters would then consolidate behind their preferred caucasian.
The defeat of Donald Trump was supposed to bring us a little bit of peace at the end of the year. But because 2020 is the messiest of bitches, it decided to drag out our elections for an extra two months, leaving America's future to hinge on one state: Georgia.
Both of Georgia's Republican Senators, David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler, are defending their seats this year, and they're headed to runoffs because no one in either race got more than 50% of the vote.
Kelly Loeffler, one of the richest androids in the Senate, and David Perdue, a guy who definitely pronounces it "vaginer," have joined forces on a unity ticket, competing as a blindingly white powerhouse. They're like the dream team if it were just comprised of Larry Birds.
Even though traveling for Thanksgiving is not advised, some of you will choose to spend the holiday with people outside of your pod. But you can still take measures to help minimize your risk. Eat Thanksgiving dinner outdoors!
“A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” sets a great example for that. Follow their lead, except for the part where they let a filthy dog prepare all the food. Snoopy may be beloved, but he's still a dog, my God.
The CDC also says avoid shouting, because apparently, they know your crazy family. So when you ask Uncle Darryl to pass the dressing, and he starts screaming conspiracy theories about what the feds are hiding at the Hidden Valley, you can cite the CDC when telling him to shut up.