Thread by @EJBrand

Yes you’ve seen a million of these already but the rise of #NotAllMen after this tragic death has me so angry

Anyone even *thinking* this: get over yourself & reflect. No one is saying that ALL men are predators. But somehow no woman is ever quite free of them? 🧵

I've fallen asleep on *my own sofa* in *my own house* & woken up in the night to find a visiting ’friend’ with his hand down my pants. He protested he thought I was awake & letting him do it (?!)

Since then I'm not comfortable being sleepy on my own sofa with guests over

I’ve been to a party to find that while I was in the loo the host sent everyone home, locked all doors & wouldn’t let me out

I stayed awake for HOURS at his mercy, tactfully spurning his advances. He let me go at 9am as long as he walked me home. I do not go to parties on my own

An (ex-)boyfriend once hooked me around the neck with his elbow and squeezed – hard, while grinning – because he'd drunk too much & I guess I had annoyed him somehow

I now get very defensive & 'weird' if a partner (or any man) playfully goes anywhere near my neck

They weren't strangers on streets or buses – I won’t even get into that. They were men I knew & trusted enough to be around

I’m sure they don’t consider themselves predators, or even think of these incidents. In their minds they were just shooting their shot, or being drunk

But, despite being relatively minor, these incidents have modified my behaviour for life & taught me that while *of course* not all men will assault women, we can never guess which ones might.

And, as so many women are saying, this is how we walk through life

If you’re not one of those men – hurray for you? – it means nothing if you don’t also believe female friends, challenge shit ‘banter’ about women in your whatsapp groups & call out/cut off mates acting badly

You can help! Own your mistakes & show other men what is not acceptable