The outpouring of women's trauma in recent days has brought a lot of past incidents to the surface of my mind, as I'm sure it has for many people
I've been sexually assaulted, followed, groped and stalked, but there's one incident that I keep thinking about
I've been sexually assaulted, followed, groped and stalked, but there's one incident that I keep thinking about
It was about 12 years ago while I was at university, on a student night at a nightclub
Being felt up on the dance floor was very, very common, and this was the sports team night so it was known for being particularly bad. But I was on a sports team too, so still went
Being felt up on the dance floor was very, very common, and this was the sports team night so it was known for being particularly bad. But I was on a sports team too, so still went
I was alone walking towards the toilets when I felt someone grab my arse. But this time I managed to catch his hand before he could melt back into the crowd
As I turned to face him, I twisted his finger - it was accidental but I don't regret it to be honest
As I turned to face him, I twisted his finger - it was accidental but I don't regret it to be honest
I don't know what I expected really, maybe an apology, but what I got was sheer rage
He was a student my age, a boy really, surrounded by friends. I remember how angry he looked as he shouted in my face:
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you frigid bitch?"
He was a student my age, a boy really, surrounded by friends. I remember how angry he looked as he shouted in my face:
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you frigid bitch?"
I couldn't think of anything to say, I just walked off, but it stuck with me
Firstly because of his utterly unapologetic and angry reaction, secondly because no one batted an eyelid and his friends didn't show any sign of disapproval
Thirdly, because of the suggestion that...
Firstly because of his utterly unapologetic and angry reaction, secondly because no one batted an eyelid and his friends didn't show any sign of disapproval
Thirdly, because of the suggestion that...
...there was something wrong with me, or that I was "frigid", because I wasn't somehow grateful for being sexually assaulted by a stranger
But also because I wonder where that man is now. He was at a top-20 university and probably graduated with a good degree
But also because I wonder where that man is now. He was at a top-20 university and probably graduated with a good degree
Where did he learn that behaviour? Has he changed? Does he even remember doing it and if he does, does he care?
There were many serial gropers at university when I was there in the late noughties, and probably before or since. Did they stop when they left or carry on?
There were many serial gropers at university when I was there in the late noughties, and probably before or since. Did they stop when they left or carry on?
And what are they all doing now? Are they wracked with guilt about their past behaviour while reading the response to the Sarah Everard case?
Or are they #NotAllMen ing the whole thing out and thinking it doesn't apply to them? That's my fear
Or are they #NotAllMen ing the whole thing out and thinking it doesn't apply to them? That's my fear
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
