Thread by @LindaSuePark

Thread, first steps to #StopTheHate: Imagine that you're in the presence of someone being microaggressive. A racist or ableist joke. A misogynist aside. "Kung flu." Practice responding by saying aloud:

"I'm not comfortable with that."
or
"That makes me uncomfortable."
1/10

Practice regularly--it takes just a few seconds a few times a day--so it stays front of mind. The window to USE that line is a small one: You have to say it as soon as you hear the unfunny joke, the semi-veiled comment. Practice=developing readiness. 2/10

When the moment comes IRL, your heart might begin pounding. You might sweat or tremble. *It will not be easy.*

Stay strong: Try to keep in mind that however uneasy you're feeling, it's not anywhere close to the distress of the person at whom the microaggression is directed. 3/10

You do NOT have to engage any further (unless you want to). A typical response to your intervention might be something like:

"Sheesh, it's just a joke. Where's your sense of humor?"

You can repeat: "I'm just not comfortable with that." Then change the subject or walk away. 4/10

The objective is two-fold: 1) to let the person know--as well as anyone within earshot--that what they said is NOT OKAY. 2) to let the injured person (yes, every microaggression is an injury to the soul and psyche) know that they are supported. 5/10

With enough practice, it gets easier & can even become a habit.

Other tactics: For work meetings & other group encounters, buddy up. Agree in advance w/ a friend that when one intervenes, the other will support: "I'm not comfortable with that either." Strength in numbers! 6/10

Another line I use: *slight lean or tilt of head* "Excuse me, what did you just say?" (neutral tone of voice)

Implication: Repeat what you said--I dare you. Most of the time, they know exactly what's going on... 7/10

...and the response is a mumbled, "Oh, never mind". It's a way of saying 'NOT OKAY' in a more face-saving manner. Can be useful in family gatherings with that uncle, you know the one. (Again: Practice! Buddy up!) 8/10

The message:
NOT "You're a bad person"
but rather,
"You just made a mistake."

We send that message whether or not they're willing to receive it. Numbers matter. We KEEP sending that message over and over, every time, so we can reach critical mass. It takes ALL OF US. 9/10

Bottom line: There's a price to be paid to dismantle injustice: in personal comfort and sometimes in relationships. Paying that price *consistently* is the difference between TRUE seekers of a better world for all--and those with 'good' but empty intentions.
Which are you? 10/10