I thought I knew Scotland fairly well and loved it mightily. But some of my new twitter penpals tell me I am in fact a clueless nobody who needs to learn some facts. So I did - from their helpful profiles. What an education! Here are 3 things, oddly, I didn't know about Scotland:
1) Apparently, Scotland is actually a banana republic, far more corrupt than Mexico, much more communist than China and even more authoritarian than North Korea. On the plus side, I would venture to add: also more imaginative than the far-away realm of Cloud Cuckooland...
2) One of the few freedoms left to my new penpals in their Scottish gulag, it seems, is to tweet and retweet conspiracy theories about climate change, viral pandemics, public health lockdowns and EU protocols. Poor soulless miseries! Shovelling snow would surely be an improvement
3) It is a manly custom, I see, to engage in robust banter with anyone who suggests there is even a hint of misogyny in the campaign to remove Nicola Sturgeon (who, I also assume, doesn't mind all the gender-specific nicknames or fantasies about her suffering some painful demise)
I would say thanks to my new penpals for helping me become less of a clueless nobody. Maybe even fascinate them with my own insights, about their delightful cultural commonalities with freaks and fascists in many other countries. But I accidentally blocked them. Tragic, huh.
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