Thread by @DavidGilbert4U

as a news reporter in littleton, i know so many people whose lives were forever altered by columbine. two decades later, i still see hands shake and voices break when it comes up. (thread)

remnants everywhere: the home of a victim's brother, grass a foot high & windows covered. the pawn shop where a victim’s mother asked to see a handgun & shot herself. doctors, cops and teachers have told me they're routinely transported back to columbine in their nightmares.

then there are those who have spent the decades since trying to drown out the screams with drugs. even now, their names pop up in arrest reports with disproportionate frequency.

i was in 5th grade in englewood at the time. i stood on the playground that day and watched the medical helicopters roaring low and fast, back and forth from the hospital to the school. to this day, too many ambulance sirens and too many helicopters make my chest tighten.

after columbine, it felt like the world stopped and took notice. congress held hearings. the president visited. people wrote plays and movies and tribute songs. the community built a beautiful, haunting memorial. life took on a new timeline: before and after april 20.

but now, there are dozens of towns like littleton. thousands of lives forever shattered. decades from now, who will remember? who will recall sutherland springs, roseburg, thousand oaks, santa fe high school? how many have you never heard of?

two years ago i stood outside STEM school highlands ranch, watching hundreds of children from kindergarten age up, fleeing their school with their hands over their heads, covered by an army of officers, snipers and helicopters. every last one of them an uncounted victim.

in 2018, i attended a mass shooting drill held by the fire department. the training took place two weeks after a neo-nazi slaughtered worshippers in a synagogue, and less than 48 hours after the thousand oaks massacre, in which the first cop through the door was shot to death.

there was no head-shaking at the recent slaughters, no moments of silence. the SWAT commander said simply: “we’ll be studying these events in coming weeks to determine the effectiveness of our tactics.”

right now, we're at the moment in the cycle where we all point to why this is the fault of whatever group or entity we hate. we don't even seem to bother with the tripe about "healing" or "coming together" anymore.

meanwhile, our culture is turning out hordes of broken young men, who in their mindless rage will continue their war of attrition with life itself. they will irradiate the landscape with their misery, rendering more homes and schools and towns forever infected with nightmares.

we talked a good game back in 1999 about healing. but there's a deeper sickness in our culture than we realized: grievance & resentment of which we're all carriers. it can't be legislated away.

i still see the bumper stickers around town, faded and cracked.

“we are columbine.”