Thread by @RosamundUrwin

As England opens up a little today, I wanted to write about what it’s been like to have a baby who has only known lockdown. Obviously caring for a newborn can be tough at the best of times. This is not the best of times.

My son, Finn, was born in December. Apart from medical staff, he has only been held by four people. He has close family he has never met, including his paternal grandmother, two aunts and two uncles.

A friend calls babies born in the pandemic “coronials”; I’ve been thinking of them as “zoom babies”. I’ve wondered a lot if this will have a long-term impact on them. At 15 weeks, Finn has barely seen another child’s face.

There’s the proverb that it takes a village to raise a child. In the pandemic, there’s been no village; just parents struggling on their own. Some new mothers have had to do that after traumatic births and with restrictions on how much support partners could give them in hospital

Care for both pregnant women and new mothers has been patchy. I’ve never met the health visitor or even seen her over Zoom. She has phoned twice. I’m very lucky that my friend, the brilliant @sadieholland67, is a midwife and she has helped me hugely after a pretty tough labour.

I imagine many parents - and mothers particularly - who’ve had babies in the pandemic feel a little robbed. Friends have told me what they enjoyed about mat leave - simple things like seeing other mothers in cafes; parent and baby classes - and none of that has been possible.

At times, I’ve found it lonely - and exhausting. When I thought Finn was ill, I had to take him to A&E on my own because only one parent is allowed in and I’m the one feeding him. And, for example, I have never been able to let my sister look after him for an hour so I can sleep.

And I’m lucky! I am married with a healthy child. I can’t imagine how hard this period has been on single parents, those with children who are sick or have a disability, or those who’ve had twins or more.

Incidentally, I’m sure lots of mothers have also felt like they can’t complain - after all, so many people have had a v hard time in the pandemic. But there are signs that it has taken a toll - such as a possible rise in cases of postnatal depression itv.com/news/2020-12-1…

There’s also been a lot less in-person support for breast-feeding, which many women find so difficult (and there are long delays to get tongue-tie fixed acc to friends who’ve struggled with that).

To end on a happier note, I am now pathetically excited about Finn starting parent-baby swimming classes at the end of the month. And his heavily-delayed christening in the summer will mean he can finally meet family and friends. He’s a joy.