I ordered a litter robot thing, and I didn't realize how enormous that is. It arrived in a 3 foot tall box.

I am now terrified that when wife comes downstairs, she will see this box and freak out.
This thing is ginormous
I am now reviewing the photos of the product online in panic and realizing I missed this one, which would have hinted to the problem I was getting myself into.
I mean, literally getting myself into. I'm afraid I'll have to sleep inside that thing tonight
I lived in apartments smaller than this thing
I must train the cats to only take a shit with company
SkyNet sent this from the future to kill the cats so they don't stop it from taking over the world by sitting on the keyboard
"No, I'm fine, this is fine really"
I need to create an account on a cloud SaaS do my cats can poop
My robot's wifi password is 'neverscoop' 😐
Wife finally met the robot and I believe the words she used were "DEAR MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL IS THIS", followed by a sequence of words that might not be appropriate to put in here
Hearing wife in a phone call with her sister and the words "What did he do this time" were spoken
This app has PoopOps
Aaand I get an email from my pfSense because its arp watch service detected that the pooping machine connected to the wifi and acquired an IP.

This house operates like a Swiss watch.
You have no idea how slowly and carefully the cat is walking towards the monster to check it out. I wouldn't be nearly as brave in her place.
We should do a Build session involving Azure IoT, Dapr, Azure Functions and this
I'm not even joking
I shall hook my cat poop robot to Alexa so it can let me know when the cat did business

I shall hook my cat poop robot to a Twitter account, this will be a massive success
Of course the internet already had this idea and even hooked a camera because the cat hasn't had to deal with enough crap already
Surveillance Catptalism
If they can call this "insights" you can call whatever dashboard you have "insights" too. Numbers in a chart are insights.
"Am I a joke to you? Am I? Wadafuq, hooman"
I'm happy to report that according to my PoopOps insight dashboard, one of the cats finally decided to take the risk and do his business in there.

The cat is still alive.
And because I can, I'm writing a Home Assistant rule in YAML that will blink my office lights if the litter box is full of shit
Note how she's screaming in terror while trying to keep the cats safe from the cat eating monster
Well I'll be damned but they seem to like the robot litter box especially at night exactly because of the night light.

Wife said at night it looks like a spaceship form planet poo.
They're both still alive and well

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More from @matvelloso

7 Apr
In Brazil we use a technical term for this:

(I'm not making this up. It's the name we use)
So everybody else has the same term, but with a dog.

In Brazil we chose a donkey instead.

This tells you everything you need to know about Brazil.
It's actually the rhythm: We don't have a two part word for dog and that wouldn't fit the musical sound of the phrase.

Fun fact: The word we use for donkey means butter in Italian
Read 4 tweets
6 Apr
Last night wife started to ask all these random questions about the universe. We talked about the big bang, dark matter, dark energy, how stars eventually run out of fuel, entropy... She then finally asked:

-So there's no point in anything?

The universe doesn't care about your judgment of my cynicism
Here, this will cheer you up
Read 5 tweets
30 Jan
A scientifically accurate version of Back to the Future where as soon as he goes back in time he finds himself floating in space because Earth has more moved far away.

Then he dies without air and the movie ends.
"Ah but the Flux capacitor calculates and repositions the car"

It would arrive at a different velocity.

Earth moves at 67000mph. It also rotates at 1000mph. The car would either be instantly crushed, launched into space or burst in flames.
So yeah, go ahead and build your fancy time travel machine, so smart...
Read 9 tweets
29 Jan
I understand you must have many questions about the whole dynamics of GameStop, naked options, dogecoin, SEC policies, market volatility and potential correlations with your 401K, so here's a quick explanation:

You must be asking yourself whether you should be buying dogecoin, selling gamestonk, doing the opposite or drinking alcoholic beverage at 7:30am and the answer is yes.
Read 4 tweets
28 Jan
Do you all realize the irony of something being called a hedge fund and then being obliterated exactly because what they didn't do was... well... hedging their positions?
Finance sector will always find creative ways of blowing themselves up with TNT unless they are strictly supervised.
Read 4 tweets
7 Jan
It is interesting that nobody is talking about it.

In most enterprise companies we would be burning all devices by now and trying to track who had access to what.
What I would love to understand:

From the decision to open the gates, to let them in, to not send reinforcement, to not arrest and background check every person who got there, who made those decisions and what was the rationale regarding the national security?
And yes, there was plenty of time to be ready, this event was known for days. Remember that with BLM people weren't allowed to be a mile near there.
Read 6 tweets

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