Thread by @kyledcheney

IT'S FRIDAY: After staring long enough at spreadsheets of the 300+ Capitol defendants, I couldn’t unsee some of the themes in their names. So I thought I'd share some of them. Apologies in advance.

For those inclined to MUNCHEL on something SWEET, try the HONEYCUTT ORANGIAS with a swig of STRONG COFFEE. Unless you'd prefer BAKED ALASKA

There's a set of Capitol defendants for animal lovers too: COLT, LYON, LYONS, STURGEON, MINK, FAIRLAMB, FISHER and GRIFFIN, as well as other assorted livestock found in BARNES

The Jan. 6 defendants are a colorful bunch. They include: BROWN, BLACK, HAZELTON, GRAYSON, GOLD and WHITE.

Here's a feature @joshgerstein has cleverly dubbed "short names, potentially long sentences."

CUA, FEE, FOY, BRU, RAE

10 Capitol defendants are named Chris.
10 are named Robert (+1 Roberto)
6 Johns (+1 Johnny)
5 Andrews
5 Ryans

Looking for a tradesman? How about a BAKER, COOKE, SHEPPARD, CARPENTER, FRACKER, CAMPER, BARBER or PACKER?

For the REEDERs out there, checkout MARQUEZ, FAULKNER and HEMENWAY

For the naturalists: OCHS, IVEY, WOOD and PALMER

To be clear: even though it took me a QUICK MINUTA to post these, I've been TRYON to jot some ideas down over the last few WEEKS.

More soon, PHAM.

ACT 2 begins with Capitol defendants who have similar names, presumably to confuse reporters:

Ehrke + Ehmke
Rodean + Nordean
Capsel + Samsel
Steele + Steele-Smith
Reffitt + Revlett
Shively + Shalvey
Mels + Mellis
Torre + Torrens
Pezzola + Priola

The presidential set:

ANDREW JACKSON Morgan Jr.
CLEVELAND GROVER Meredith
ADAMS
WILSON
JOHNSON

ODDS AND ENDS:

Longest name: Gossjankowski

Most interesting non-punnable names: Quaglin and Brodnax

There are TWO POPES

Opposites: Biggs vs. Little
NFL-themed: Bledsoe, Madden

Choose your own adventure / cutting room floor: Cudd, Riddle, Ponder, Witcher, Smocks, Council, Fellows, Seitz, Bustle, Sparks, Blair, Winn, Merry, Young